Archive for the 'Uni/Work' Category
September 3 2008: General Veil Of Darkness
I realise that I’ve been rather circumspect when blogging in the past month or so. Personal entries have been few and far between - rather, I’ve been writing lengthy entries on broader issues, “how to” guides to everything from saving money to eBaying, and basically anything that avoids speaking too much about me and my life has been fair game.
There are two main reasons for this reticence. The first, my current lack of writing at length in English (my university classes this semester are primarily all in the Chinese language, so no essays in English) has meant that I need to get my rambling-at-length fix from somewhere. The second, I’ve not been particularly happy the past couple of weeks. For a while earlier this year, everything was peachy, but recently, things are dark, and I don’t do dark blogging. I find it hard to post rants about how bad everything is going, and how I hate the world, and general misery. That would be expressing feelings that I’m not comfortable sharing. Escaping the realities of unhappiness with impersonal entries about broader issues is a better option.
With this said, I do realise that I need to face and address the situation I’m in, for my own mental wellbeing if nothing else. So here I go, setting it all down in print.
Filed under Family & Friends & Life & Men & Uni/Work with 20 Comments
August 27 2008: QOTW: Achieving An Identity
When I was in elementary education, I was noted throughout the school for my academic brilliance. Not excellence, but one class above that - brilliance, far and beyond the standard of my age group.
As a result, I was often given special treatment - rather than completing the set maths worksheet, I’d be assigned the role of ‘assistant teacher’, and teach all other kids the maths concepts. Rather than sitting down and writing in our weekly journal, I was sent to the grade level above me and would participate in their English lesson. For my last two years of elementary schooling, I would spend the last hour of every Monday afternoon in the school office, helping to compile hundreds of school newsletters for the entire student body.
For a year and a half, I was the only student in the entire school allowed the privilege of taking time off class to help out administratively. Then halfway through my last year, other students were recruited to help out with the newsletter compilation. I was still head honcho in other areas, but in this one area I wasn’t the unique one anymore. It made me feel unwanted, like I wasn’t special anymore. I’d spent my entire schooling life up to that point distinguished from others by the fact that I was given special privileges and set aside from the other students, so to have that taken away from me was literally to take away my identity.
I look back now and scoff at my own unease, and wonder why I defined myself in terms of the privileges that others gave me. I wasn’t always self-assured. I wasn’t always confident in myself. It took years of self-exploration and experimentation before I came to realise who I actually was, and years after that to become confident in this realisation. I wasn’t born Amanda. I was born a non-entity, and became Amanda over time. And it makes me prouder than anything else, because achieving an identity is a million times harder than achieving anything else in life - good grades, good job, good relationships. Without a strong personal identity, none of the latter mean anything at all.
Question of the Week: Do you feel like you’ve achieved your true personal identity? Or are you still trying to find your rightful place in the world?
Filed under Life & Q.O.T.W. & Uni/Work with 15 Comments
August 26 2008: The Nature Of Truth
In my Contemporary China class today, we were examining the nature of truth. Does truth exist in Western media reports, does it exist in Chinese media reports? What is fact, what is truth, what is real, and what isn’t? We supported our discussion with a brief exercise. In two groups (one representing Western media, the other representing Chinese media), we each came up with a brief article on two issues: unrest in Tibet and troubles on the Olympic torch relay.
As part of the latter group of Chinese journalists, we wrote these short articles:
Recent acts of terrorism, wanton violence, thievery, and attacks on innocent civilians, by a minority faction of Tibetan separatists have disturbed the peace of China’s western region. These acts were sparked by the continuing duplicitous behaviour of the false leader, the Dalai Lama. It is believed that these acts are an attack on China’s growing economic strength. Chinese peacekeepers in the region have been helping to maintain stability in the face of these criminal acts, protecting social and community unity.
Community groups of Chinese sons and daughters based overseas been showing their support in displaying the glory of China along the path of the Olympic torch. Groups have organised bus trips to points along the path, and people have made the support of the torch a priority in their lives – dedicating time from their studies and careers to show their support in person. Foreign governments have also shown great belief in the power and might of the Chinese, with support of China’s Olympic glory by providing escorts along the path. Our Olympic slogan of “one world, one dream” has become reality.
It may seem like mindless propaganda, but read it again. There’s not one word of untruth in either article, it’s merely that the focus isn’t what one would find in non-Chinese reports.
There has been violence, looting, and attacks on civilians in Tibet. The Dalai Lama has thrown the legitimacy of his position into question by deciding to choose his successor before he dies (traditionally, the next Dalai Lama is supposed to be reincarnated after the death of the previous Dalai Lama, not chosen before the death). Chinese troops have been protecting civilians from the riots. Chinese expatriates were skivving school and work in order to support the path of the Olympic torch. There were organised community trips to go support the torch relay. Foreign governments did provide escorts for the torch relay.
Everything in the articles is true. It’s a lesson in learning to draw truths out from two opposing biases. What you read in Western media reports isn’t the whole truth, just like what you read in Chinese media reports isn’t the whole truth either. It’s selective truth. Combine the two, throw in some salt and pepper, maybe a bit of soy sauce, and you might get some semblance of reality.
Filed under Asian-ness & Media & Uni/Work with 4 Comments