Narrow-sighted marketing aside (what’s to say that someone who looks white doesn’t have relatives or friends overseas they’d like to call?), I find their sales pitch to me amusing. Communicating with my extended family isn’t something I’d do on a whim. It’s the type of thing that needs lengthy preparation time – e.g. I need to plan ahead and only see them briefly when I’m on holiday in Hong Kong, but never be surprised by a phone call. After all, when all they have to say to me is:

1. Why didn’t you study accounting or medicine at university, instead of humanities?
2. Why aren’t you already doing a PhD?
3. Why are you working at a not-for-profit, instead of having a stable job at a big bank?
4. Why aren’t you earning six figures a year already?
5. Why have you moved out of the family home even though you’re not married?
6. Why aren’t you married?
7. Why are you dating a white boy instead of our own people?
8. Why can’t you lose three dress sizes and fit into a size six?

Why would I willingly speak to them without prior preparation and boosting of my self-esteem? I get enough criticism from my parents. I don’t need it from all my other relatives too!

Some Basic Details

1. Two bedroom, two bathroom, security seven-year-old apartment.
2. Balcony leading off the lounge area.
3. Open-plan living.
4. Hidden European laundry in main bathroom.
5. Located within two minutes walk to a Zone 1 premium train station (this is a good thing!)

I would post photos but the only photos I have have the current owner’s furniture in them. When I show you photos, I want it to really be of my place, with my furniture, and my design. So…photos in coming months.

How I’m Paying For It

With my soul. No, really. What I’m about to tell you now will destroy a lot of readers’ faith and belief in me and my abilities. They will scorn me for going against my principles and for taking a step backwards. I will lose what readership I have left and no longer be thought of a superwoman. I took my parents up on their offer to help me purchase a property. It probably seems strange considering past events, but that was the offer, and I took them up on it.

Why didn’t I wait till I could afford to buy my own place? Because it would never have happened otherwise. The longer I waited, the more I tried to save, the more property prices went up. Property prices will never drop. They may stop rising as steadily as they have over the past five years, but they will never drop. If I waited to buy by myself with no help, I could only ever have bought in the outer outer suburbs, in what is almost rural areas. This isn’t feasible – as a property buyer, you have to think in the long-term. You have to buy where it’s convenient (I have public transport almost on my doorstep), where you have access to good public schools for future children (my apartment is in the McKinnon school zone, which is one of the top four state schools), where property prices won’t stagnate (property prices will never drop in inner Melbourne).

I have my pride. But I’m also pragmatic enough to realise that I shouldn’t turn down a perfectly good offer to own my own home because of personal differences. It was either that, living in the country (not my thing, I’m an urban girl!), or end up renting my whole life and never owning a home of my own.

Money Talk

The apartment cost me $440,000 (plus stamp duty {also known as land taxes}, plus lawyers and conveyancing fees, plus costs of actually furnishing the apartment and moving in).

1. My savings of $25,000 will cover stamp duty and all other associated fees.
2. My parents are putting in $100,000 for a deposit.
3. I have a home loan worth $264,000 (it was all I could qualify for on my salary).
4. They remortgaged their home to raise the extra $36,000.

I’ll handle my mortgage repayments each month (about $1700 at the current interest rate), paying extra on top of that if I manage to put more away in certain months. I’ll be renting one bedroom with an ensuite bathroom out for extra money, which should net me at the very least $900 a month. Assuming this situation, I could pay off about $2200 each month out of my own income, if I really scrimp and save ($1700 won’t be a problem). At my current rate of pay and assuming the situation stays the same, I can pay off my home loan in eleven years. Technically, I should pay it off earlier as I can only keep climbing up the career ladder, and find myself earning more money over the years.

Once my home loan is paid off, I’ll start paying my parents back. I do not have to pay them back until then. I’ll owe them $100,000 + $36,000 + whatever interest they end up paying on the $36,000. As they always pay off loans really quickly, let’s assume I’ll owe them a round figure of $150,000. They are not charging me interest on the amount they loan me. At that point in my life, I could repay the $150,000 within six to seven years. The emotional debt is another matter.

I will own the apartment in full by the time I’m forty (though as mentioned earlier, probably even earlier). Of course this is assuming I don’t sell the two-bedroom apartment and invest in a three-bedroom house with a partner when it comes time to bring up children. The apartment is liveable for a couple and two children – but if I have the three children I plan on having, I will have to move to a larger place.

What About All The Other Stuff

I settle on the last day of April, so starting May 1st, I will be a proper home owner. There are currently tenants in the property until July the 17th (with a lease I can’t break). I am contemplating asking them to stay for two months beyond that, as my deadline for moving in is the 1st of October (in order to qualify for the First Home Owner’s Grant – $9000 from the government). If they can stay for two months, that’s an extra $3000 in my account, as they’re paying $1500 a month in rent (almost my entire mortgage!).

If they stay, I’ll be in my apartment on October 1st. If they decide to leave when their lease is up, I’ll be in my home on July 18th. Either way, I’ll start looking for a suitable flatmate at the end of June – and I’ll have them on a six month sub lease to begin with, so that if it doesn’t work out (like this!), I have the option of asking them to leave after six months. I’m a neat freak and I admit that willingly – I need someone who’s similarly inclined. I’ve already researched similar house-sharing properties in the area, and I could get $220-$240 per week for the room I’ll be renting out as it has its own ensuite bathroom and is a new(ish) apartment.

I’ve also started scoping out furniture stores to keep an eye on prices and styles. I’ll probably be buying around June in the end of financial year sales (where you get up to 50% off!) and putting furniture in storage until I move in. I’m also not above holding a housewarming party when I move in, and asking people to give me money or giftcards to Target, Kmart, etc. to buy small household items (cutlery, etc.), rather than buying me an actual housewarming gift. I never like what other people buy me anyway, especially as they tend to buy either ornamental clutter, or things I would never use!

In Summary

I’m still very much in shock over the amount of debt I’ve committed myself to. I do also know though, that past experiences have shown that I’m hardworking and dedicated enough to find a solution to any situation – if I want to pay off my mortgage faster, I don’t have any problems with taking seasonal weekend-only jobs (to fit around my weekday 9 to 5 jobs) to earn more money. I’m not above going back to jobs that teenagers do on weekends – I don’t mind babysitting and dog walking.

Combined with the shock however, is incredible excitement. I BOUGHT AN APARTMENT. This kind of high should be bottled and sold at a premium.

I managed to inadvertently aggravate my parents by forgetting that it was Chinese New Year’s Eve tonight – it’s more important to our family than the actual day itself. Having lived away from home for the past few months though, I forgot entirely about the New Year, and arranged early on to meet a friend from Sydney for dinner tonight as she’s only down for a few days. Bad move on my part. At least I’m back in the family home in the afternoon, to at least do my part in the worshipping of our family ancestors – the burning of paper money, etc. I try my best to do what’s expected of a good Chinese daughter.

And – tomorrow’s not only the start of the Year of the Tiger, but also Valentine’s Day! I haven’t planned or organised much as I was quite extravagant in planning an elaborate birthday for Dylan last week, so I’ve just done something quite small (which I can’t write about here yet, because apparently he’s starting to read this blog again).

I have told him though, that however commercial or cheesy he might find the holiday, I fully expect him to make an effort tomorrow. We might be used to just chilling at home with a few DVDs, but tomorrow needs to be something more. It needn’t be as cheesy as roses and chocolate – I just need him to show that he understands that while the holiday might not mean anything to him, it means something to me, so he should just suck it up and treat me like a princess. So there. =P

In the course of this week’s dinner, my mother said to me:

Why can’t you be like your cousin? She got your aunt a credit card to pay for all household expenses, so your cousin pays for everything for her parents. Why can’t you be filial like that? You’re a terrible daughter.

Geez mother, I don’t know. Maybe because you kicked me out of your house three months ago? That tends to stop me from paying rent each week, paying for phone and internet bills, and buying fruit and vegetables for the whole family.

Good luck getting my useless brother to get a part-time job once he turns fifteen. Good luck getting him to support himself financially by the time he’s seventeen. Good luck getting him to pay for his own university education. Good luck getting him to contribute anything to the household when he’s working. Go ahead and continue buying him $800 mobile phones and $400 iPod Touch packs when he’s only thirteen.

I’m sure spoiling him with lavish gifts and raising him in a way that results in him having no respect for his parents is really going to leave him supporting you in your dotage when he can’t even properly communicate with you and has no connection whatsoever to your cultural background. Maybe if you recognise the fact that I’m the only child you have who will actually feel obligated to care for you when you’re senile (instead of throwing you into a nursing home), you’ll realise that it’s fairly important that you stop treating me like an ungrateful and unfilial daughter, and telling me that I’m a failure and a disappointment.

Christmas Eve

I actually worked for most of Christmas Eve, packing up boxes for an impending office move (as previously mentioned). This was about half of the total amount of boxes – it was a long, sweaty and dusty day. I did manage to get home by 5pm to clean myself up before heading over to my aunt’s for an Asian-style Christmas Eve dinner though. This essentially means that all the ‘aunts’ and ‘uncles’ bring a dish (Asian cuisine of course!), and we all stuff our faces with food. Chicken wings, lamb chops, potato salad, curry and vermicelli noodles with pickled veggies? That’s our version of Christmas fare.

Then of course, the adults start playing endless rounds of mahjong and drinking endless cups of tea as soon as dinner is over, while the children are relegated to a back bedroom to entertain ourselves the best we can. We might be in our twenties and late teens, but my cousins and I (and the children of other family friends) are still considered to be the ‘children’. Admittedly we fit into our designated roles remarkably well – we played Taboo and Pictionary with a few glasses of wine each, well into the early hours of the morning.

As a side note, I am vaguely communicating with my parents again, in that we can be in the same room without screaming at each other. Polite conversation with my mother is a good start though, as well as the fact that my father deigned to speak a sentence to me: “Refill my cup of tea”.

Christmas

I woke up on Christmas Day at Dylan’s house with presents to open! As a joke gift, he bought me a Hello Kitty candy set – as an Asian female, I’m obviously supposed to love Hello Kitty. (Which I do, secretly, but don’t tell him that because it’ll only reinforce the stereotype.) My real gift though, was a body board – and to celebrate Christmas, we drove two hours down the coast and spent the day at Cape Paterson together so that I could have my first ever body-boarding experience. We could have gone to a more local beach, but as Melbourne is situated within a bay, he decided it would be more exciting to drive further out past the peninsula so that we could surf in the actual ocean with real waves, rather than within a calmer bay.

I had a blast – absolutely an overall awesome day. We’re now contemplating getting into snorkeling as a hobby, as the coastline around Cape Paterson is absolutely littered with rock pools and marine life. I’m considering buying snorkeling sets for his birthday in February, though I guess ideally we should have the equipment by mid-January when the weather will be calmer and it’ll be easier to snorkel in the open ocean.

Oh, and I made him a type of mini-hamper gift with things he likes – a selection of different nuts from the market (walnuts, almonds, macadamias), a bottle of our favourite wine (Brown Brothers Moscato), a new coffee percolator and some organic coffee beans (he’s sick of drinking instant coffee at my place, so now he can have actual coffee), and some home-made dark chocolate with ginger. Nothing remarkable, just a few things I threw together into a basket, but he seemed to like it, so all is good.

Boxing Day

Boxing Day is a big day for my cousin and I. It’s traditionally one of the biggest retail days of the year with enormous post-Christmas discounts, and we have gotten into the habit of taking full advantage of the sales. We ended up shopping from eight in the morning to eight at night, across two different shopping centres. I ended up buying:

1. A woollen underlay for my mattress – $89.95 from $299
2. Leopard print micro shorts – $9.95 from $69.95
3. A print top – $14.95 from $79.95
4. Earrings – $5 from $14.95
5. A headband – $5 from $29.95

I was remarkably controlled this year in my spending – the woollen underlay was my biggest purchase by far, but as I had been needing one since I moved out, and managed to pick up a trans-seasonal one (works in both winter and summer) for a third of the original price, I think it was a justified purchase. The top and shorts were a bit of a splurge as they’re really too casual and ‘fun’ for work, but I really think it’s about time I start dressing my age. The accessories were just cute cute cute, and cheap enough for me.

Overall, it was a fairly chilled couple of days. There was no blatant displays of consumerism (sure I went sale shopping, but didn’t go overboard!), and I only stuffed myself with food for one meal, so it was probably a million times more controlled and less indulgent than most people’s Christmases!

How it happened: I don’t think it’s any secret that I’ve never really been the daughter that my parents would have chosen for themselves. Past entries on this blog (check under the ‘Family’ category) have made it blatantly clear that their traditional strict Asian values are completely incongruent with my own. Put simply, they’re about as stereotypically Asian as you can get, and I’ve been told repeatedly that I’m about as white Australian liberal as they come. I drink beer! I enjoy pre-marital sex with white men with huge penises! I believe in equal rights for women! I like long extended holidays and don’t work six days a week, 52 weeks of the year! I have a tattoo! I’m immodest and flaunt my body in bikinis! I go out and party regularly!

And, I guess the difference between their actual daughter and their ideal daughter finally got too much for them. I was out all last Tuesday night, and was on my way out on Wednesday night, when they stopped me and basically yelled something along the lines of “If you take one step out that door, you’re no longer our daughter, don’t bother ever coming back, etc”. At which point I just thought:

Wait. What? I’m turning 23 in a week, I’ve been paying my way in this house in both a monetary and supportive sense since I was a teenager, and they still want to dictate when I go out? I’m not irresponsible when it comes to my social life – I hold down two jobs (have had three jobs in the past), I study, I organise their business and my brother’s schooling, and I balance all my obligations with a social life. So fuck that, and fuck them and their stupid antiquated ideas about propriety.

So with those thoughts, I left. I took that one step out of the door, and have only been back to pick up my belongings when there was no one else in the house. Which, by the way, I managed to fit into my new car, so I obviously own less than one Camry’s worth, considering the Colt is a micro car! I own much less than I originally thought, which bodes well for the whole minimalist and bare-boned essentials lifestyle I’m slowly working towards.

I have spoken to my brother, and essentially told him to behave himself and keep his head down for a while until our parents simmer down, but I haven’t spoken to my parents since I left a week ago. Nor do I have any intention to for a few months – put simply, I’m just too angry to see them or even speak to them. Given a few months break, things might improve enough so that we can meet again as adults, but for now, I just need to be away from them.

Where I am now: I’m share-housing with two friends – these friends actually. It works out well as we all work different schedules (one works at the produce market so he’s up at 2am or 3am, the other works in hospitality so she’s never around on weekends or weeknights, and I’m at work during the week and at Dylan’s on weekends), so it’s rare for any of us to be in the house at any one time. There’s no chance of having the petty disagreements that can so often plague a sharehouse as we simply don’t see each other to argue!

Financially, it works out better as well – I’m paying $100AUD a week here which includes room and all bills. And, because my housemate works at the market, I essentially get all my fruit and veggies for free. Considering that I was paying $100AUD a week for rent and board at home, plus paying the phone and internet bill on top of that, as well as doing the weekly produce shop, I’ll end up paying less in this sharehouse than I would at home. It’s worked out really well – but I’m also mindful that my situation is unique. It’s rare to find a place for $100AUD a week, and the only reason we have it is because the house belongs to my roommate’s grandmother who’s now in a nursing home, so he gets it at a cheap rate. I lucked out. Not everyone is as lucky.

Some of you are probably wondering why I didn’t just move in with Dylan. I contemplated it, and he offered it, but it would simply have been unpractical. He’s in a bungalow out the back of his mum’s place, and it’s simply not big enough for the two of us. It’s very far out from the city where I work as well, so location-wise, it’s impractical. I also don’t want to rush things – we both need our own space, and if we’d been together 24/7, I would have killed him within three weeks. This will work out well though, as I generally spend my weekends at his place, and he’ll spend some weeknights with me at my new place. We’ll essentially be spending five nights out of every seven together, but still have enough time to ourselves, which I think is the best way.

The initial set up costs for moving out are a bit daunting. I’ve paid for the post office to redirect my mail for three months (enough time for me to change the addresses at all my various accounts), and I went on a shopping spree on the weekend and bought:

1. A queen size bed, two matching bedside tables and a matching chest of drawers
2. A quality pillow-top mattress
3. A portable hanging closet
4. Stocked up on some pantry basics
5. Basic items – laundry hamper, etc.

And I’m $1500AUD poorer for it. Had to – there was nothing but a single bed in the third bedroom, though I saved a bit as I didn’t have to buy cutlery or crockery as the house is well stocked. Worth every penny, because this was the gorgeous bedroom set that I bought:

Very sleek and modern. I could have gone a grade down, and simply bought plastic tubs to store clothes, and put a mattress on the floor, but as I see it, this is a long-term investment. I don’t intend on share-housing and renting forever – that’s money going to waste. As soon as I get life in order, I’m going to various banks and checking out home loan options. A one bedroom apartment near where I’m currently living is worth about $170,000AUD. I have just about $20,000AUD in the bank now, after having bought my car, and should earn enough to qualify for a loan of about $160,000AUD. It’s doable. And when I get into my own place (that I’ll own!), a good bedroom set will be one of the first things I need. I’m simply buying in anticipation.

So that’s the aim for next year – to get into my first property. It won’t be as fancy as what I was originally aiming for, but considering my changed circumstances, I think it’s the best option. So you know, I’m doing fine. With every dark cloud, there’s a silver lining – and this is it. If I hadn’t been forced out of home, I could have stayed indefinitely continually saving money, but continually setting my eyes to more expensive properties and never actually getting anywhere. This has forced my hand, and I can aim a bit lower now, and actually get right into it. Life is good, and there’s really nothing for anyone to be concerned about.

To end on an awesome note…it’s my birthday and I’m 23 today!

Needless to say, blogging will be last on the list of priorities over the next few weeks. I should still be twittering though, so feel free to follow me for regular updates on how angry I am, and how fucking unreasonable and irrational my parents are.

Having someone important from every part of my life there. My family were there. My cousin was there. A high school friend was there. A friend from my first trip to China was there. Friends from my second trip to China were there. My boyfriend was there. I felt very very loved, with all my loved ones there. Another very awesome part to graduating, was the fact that I looked absolutely radiant, if I do say so myself.

1. Soy bean drink maker
2. Plastic covers for our television/DVD player remotes
3. A bobble head toy figurine for my new car (more later)

We do our best to pander to stereotypes. My mother also deemed it necessary for the modesty of her only daughter to purchase these two items for me (see photo on right). The camisole, as she thinks the tops and dresses I wear are too low-cut, and that I need to wear something more modest underneath them. The cardigan, because I shouldn’t go out with bare arms unless it’s a forty degree day. Of course, I’ll probably only ever wear the camisole by itself, and will continue to go out with bare arms, but at least she can now feel like she’s done her bit to make me a lady.

My brother on the other hand, got an LG KM900. Recommended retail price: $799AUD. I don’t know what a thirteen-year-old needs a high tech mobile phone for, but he asked for it, so of course, he got it. To recap – he got a $799AUD mobile phone, I got a bobble-head toy figurine and two tops that cost $30AUD all up. I know love for a child isn’t reflected by the amount of the gifts bestowed upon them, but fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Anyway, bitterness at blatant favouritism of the male child aside, I put a deposit down on the new 2009 model Mitsubishi Colt VRX yesterday. It has pretty much all the same features as the current model, but has had a slight facelift in the shape of the exterior to bring it in line with their Lancer model. I bargained it down to $18,990AUD from about $22,000AUD, so I’m happy enough with the price.

It’ll unfortunately be about two weeks before the new model comes in, so I’ll be vehicle-less for a week – I’ll get a free loan car from the dealers after the 18th until the day it arrives (probably around the 30th). One week shan’t be too much of an issue – I should be spending the next week and a half finishing up (or you know, actually starting) my last assignment of the year anyway, rather than zipping around in a new car!

1. Clearing junk out of the house – my parents are hoarders, I’m a minimalist
2. Organising my mother’s paperwork into properly labelled folders
3. Rearranging the furniture to my preferences
4. Clearing out the garage
5. Having a spotless home without a teenage boy around to mess things up

Absolute heaven! There’ll finally be order in this household – the anally retentive organiser in me is practically salivating at the thought of it.

I’ve also been given a few commissions by my parents:

1. Change over phone/internet plan to another provider
2. Shop around for cheaper car insurance for their car
3. Arrange for our kitchen ceiling to be replastered and painted

As well as things I have to do for myself – sell the Camry, buy another car, continue going to work as per normal, look for another job, and finishing off my last assignment for this year (I am still doing my Masters, I just never talk about it!).