Archive for the 'Body' Category
August 7 2008: I Can Has Oral?
Filed under Body with 7 Comments
A friend recently came back from a jaunt overseas, bringing me back two T-shirts as a souvenir.
I personally think they’re particularly suitable for me.
July 31 2008: Clothing My Jubblies
Filed under Body & Family & Fashion with 9 Comments
I went bra-shopping with my mother yesterday. It was ostensibly a trip to buy some bargain basement bras with extra-thick material and a million clasps for my grandmother in China, as she had requested that my mother bring some back with her next time she returned to the motherland. Like most other women on the maternal side of my family, my grandmother has a problem finding bras to fit her larger-than-average jubblies, especially in the petite and small-boned Orient.
Now, I think it should be made clear that in normal circumstances, I’m well past the age where I still need to take my mother shopping with me. I’ve been shopping and clothing myself since my early teens - my mother has certainly never been in a changing room with me when bra-shopping. In fact, I don’t think she’s even seen me fully naked since the age of five. This of course, makes it a lot easier to hide body adornments that she knows nothing about, things that might possibly give her a heart attack. My tattoo on my hip for instance, or the fact that I’m bare down there, both of which are normally hidden by my daily outfits, but which are extremely difficult to disguise when she’s watching you try on bras and lacing you into corsets. I did an admirable job though, hitching the waistband of my pants far enough up my waist to hide both the tattoo and my hairlessness, simultaneously giving myself camel toe.
I did buy an awesomely sexy bustier that’s guaranteed to make anyone blow their load. $10AUD from $50AUD, AND IT FITS MY BOOBS, AND YES, THOSE ARE SUSPENDERS YOU SEE. Does it make you wet?
NB: It should be noted that in yesterday’s entry, when I spoke of naked Scrabble, that was a euphemism for sex. Some of you seemed to get a bit confused!
July 30 2008: I’m Smoking Hot
Filed under Body & Men with 16 Comments
I knew I was hot, but I didn’t realise I was hot enough to start a fire!
While in bed with the fellow yesterday for an illicit midday tryst, we were doing that naked thing that people tend to do. You know, that thing, where you play Scrabble naked. Mmhmm, that’s it. Scrabble. Board games can be so fun.
Mid-doing-stuff, it became clear that there was something terribly wrong with the situation. We spring apart, jumping up and down on the bed because apparently, we’ve actually just set the quilt on fire, leaving a palm-sized burnt hole in it.
Granted, this burn isn’t from body heat and friction (though honestly, that was a distinct possibility), but rather from the quilt resting on the heater after some fevered activity had resulted in it being kicked off the bed. His place now smells like burnt goosedown, which is always appetising.