What Spending Time With My Family Teaches Me
January 30, 2011 | Filed under Family & Friends, Uni/Work
I’m Beautiful
My mother told me that in a recent over-the-fence conversation, our neighbour (an elderly traditionally Italian Nonna) said two things: 1) that her son thought I was beautiful, and 2) that she was wondering where I’d moved to as she hadn’t seen me around lately. The important thing about the first point is that when recounting the conversation, my mother didn’t counter it with an insult, or try to put down my appearance in any way. From an Asian parent perspective, having other people compliment your daughter’s appearance is acceptable, complimenting her yourself is not as you don’t want her to become boastful. It is however, acceptable to tell her she’s a fat pig and to lose ten kilos. And maybe to stop dressing like a whore.
As for the second point, when told that I’d moved out with my boyfriend and that he wasn’t Chinese, our neighbour expressed shock that I hadn’t ‘mated’ within my own race. Traditional Italian Nonna’s values = Traditional Hardass Asian values. My mother agreed with our neighbour, and said that it wasn’t surprising that she was shocked, because like should always mate with like. My father on the other hand told her to stop being ridiculous because we live in Australia, not China. He’s accepted the fact that I’m committed to being with a non-Asian.
My Mother Now Understands What I Do For A Living
My parents have never understood what I do for a living. To them, my role can be summed up as “throwing parties for charities” – an extremely simplified way of explaining that I’m an Events Coordinator at a disability services organisation. This explanation has always been accompanied with: “what a waste of ability – she got such good scores in high school, she could have done law at university but chose not to”.
After spending an hour showing my mother a number of job listings that I’m interested in however, she’s a bit more clued in as to what my chosen career path actually is. Granted, marketing and community relations (encompassing communications and media liaison) is still being generalised as “advertising for charities”, but it’s a step in the right direction. She is still disappointed that I didn’t do more with the good university entrance scores I got though.
My Parents Support My Plans For The Future
Leading on from that second point – I have told them about my intentions to look further afield in my quest to fulfill New Year’s Resolution #2 (which I haven’t even posted about here yet, though I have on LiveJournal!). My ultimate career goal is to be the director of community relations for an international charity like Amnesty International – and quite frankly, if I want to start working for a inter/national organisation, Melbourne is not the place to be. We have statewide organisations here (I’m currently working for one), but the national offices of larger organisations are primarily based in Sydney. That’s where I need to be if I want to achieve my long-term career goals.
I’ve thought about it for a long time. The only cons I could think of were relationship-centric – I’d miss my family and worry about how they would cope without me. Similarly, I’d miss my friends, though I do have a friendship network in Sydney. Compare to this the pros – I’d be advancing my career which will bring me a sense of personal fulfillment beyond what I could get remaining in Melbourne. Financially, I would actually probably be better off living in Sydney as renting out my apartment at current market rates would cover my mortgage payments, leaving me my actual earnings to spend on renting a place in Sydney (cheaper than paying a mortgage!) and daily living expenses.
After putting all this reasoning to my parents, they were generally supportive of my decision to search for my next position in Sydney. My father in particular told me not to worry about them – as he put it, phones were invented to keep in touch with adult children who had flown the coop. My mother was keen to have an excuse to take a few days holiday every few months to fly up and stay with me. As for everything else in my life – it’s all transportable. It would be up to Dylan to follow me to Sydney – my career is far more advanced than his (lack thereof), so it doesn’t make strategic sense for me to sacrifice my opportunities for his. My opportunities are greater in Sydney – his are the same everywhere.
Anyway, that was a rather long-winded family-related way of getting to the point that would be most of interest to the majority of you: I’m currently looking and applying for job opportunities in Sydney, and aim to move there in the long-term to fulfill my career goals. I aim to no longer be a Melbournite and will instead be a Sydney-sider this time next year.
12 Responses to What Spending Time With My Family Teaches Me
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Haha, that thing about the Italian values reminds me of our old Greek art teacher – she and mum used to discuss Greek VS Asian family traditions and found that they were surprisingly very similar!
I guess it also makes a lot of sense for you to relocate to Sydney, after reading all the pros and cons right there. At least you know what you want, and you are going after it, so that’s all that matters. High 5.
Amanda on January 30, 2011 #
Good luck to you, the pay rate in Sydney is usually higher than the rate in Melbourne but it has its own disadvantages. It would pretty much work out better if you can get a rental place near your work (the traffic here can be pretty insane). Finding a place to rent is pretty competitive here in Sydney though as vacancy rates are pretty low in NSW.
CruxieFaye on January 30, 2011 #
It would be awesome if you moved to Sydney, not just for your career but because it would be an excellent excuse for me to get off my arse and visit you :)
Good luck in applying for jobs and moving, it will be a very exciting time for you and I have no doubt that you will be able to achieve those career goals in Sydney.
Alexandra on January 30, 2011 #
Sometimes I get so envious when I read/hear about people knowing what they want and aim to get it. I’m turning 23 this year and I’m still at a crossroads! You know I’ve been reading your blog for years and you always get what you want because you work hard for it and I’m sure your goals will be met in no time. Good luck Amanda!
Justine on January 30, 2011 #
Wow, that is quite an exciting change! And it’s great that you state it as fact. This is going to happen, fact. I agree with Justine: your determination and forward movement is extremely admirable.
gem on January 31, 2011 #
Congratulations! I am so proud of you for figuring out what you need to do for YOU. You’re fantastic. I’m currently applying to grad programs — exciting stuff. i’m going to be a professor. Maybe one year I can guest lecture in Australia :P
PS, we need a chat date. Soon.
Stephanie on January 31, 2011 #
Ahh, I love your position on Dylan moving with you/career prospects etc. You’re so head strong and… ack, it’s late and I’m tired and I can’t think of the words, but I do like it when you’re all driven and dominant ;)
Jem on February 1, 2011 #
Wow, good luck with the Sydney job search – hope you can find something on the next rung of the ladder! It’s good that your parents are supportive of the move and understand your career (at least a bit). From what you tell, it seems they now accept that you’re a grown up even if they don’t approve of everything. :)
Ruth on February 4, 2011 #
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