January 8 2010: QOTW: Social Media and Relationships
Filed under Q.O.T.W. & Relationships/Men
So I’ve just read this article, and I’m curious. Most of the readers of this blog are as similarly active on the internet as myself – if not more. You might be a blogger, or a Tweeter, or you might visit a million forums. You might be an IRC regular, or just a frequent commenter on other blogs. Bottom line is, you spend a (relatively) large amount of your time on the Internet – probably more so than your average Joe or Jane.
I’ve got an online presence. I blog here. I Tweet near-daily. I use my LiveJournal occasionally for private entries. I’m relatively active in my local Melbourne LiveJournal community. I (try to) comment on other blogs regularly. I’m part of a forum (and have been very active in other forums). I’m very active on Facebook. I chat on MSN semi-regularly with online friends. I’ve met nearly two dozen ‘online’ people IRL, all over the world.
On the other hand, Dylan doesn’t understand why I blog, why I tweet, and how I can be so close to people online. It’s not to say that he’s a Luddite though, because he is incredibly tech-savvy. His interests online though, extend to browsing innovation and technology blogs, and research on various topics. For instance, we recently bought some pot plants for his place, but he spent about a week researching different varieties and their properties online before making a decision. We’re looking at purchasing snorkelling masks, and he’s already spent days researching different brands and styles.
We spend equal amounts of time online – but whereas my Internet usage is based around interaction with others, his is very much self-contained. This is actually probably reflective of our RL persons as well though – I’m more likely to spend time chatting to a friend, whereas he’s more likely to spend a day figuring out a way to rig up a way for the garden solar lights to light up his bungalow to save on electricity bills (true story – he’s still trying to figure it out).
Question of the Week: If you’re in a relationship, what’s your respective approaches to social media, and how does that work out for you? If you’re not in a relationship, what combination (one techy one not, two techies, or two non-techies, etc.) do you think would work best?
16 Responses to “QOTW: Social Media and Relationships”
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I’m like you – but my boyfriend sounds like your Dylan, but more of a luddite perhaps. Although we met on World of Warcraft, he doesn’t have the same kind of attitude toward communicating with others online (outside of gaming).
When I first met him, he had never used MSN (or any other IM service or online chat), Facebook or any other social networking site, and had basically never read a blog, and definitely never owned a website. To him, the internet was just a place to Google stuff you wanted to know more about. He did that – he Googled me, got my sites, found out a bit about my past, and decided that he liked it, but I guess he was curious because he did sign up to MSN and Facebook and Twitter and started reading my blog and I even taught him how to upload music to the internets so that he could show me what he liked, but the only things he really does these days are Facebook, and oddly, this —> http://sirrobin.maccath.com/tcg/ (Although I made the page, he updates it)
His internet use is typical of the older generation/ Perhaps your parents, and my parents, for instance – they’re probably not really ‘into it’, they might use Google and email but that’s about it. His browsing ability is somewhat stifled (he never really knows what would be the most efficient search terms, and ends up searching full sentences in Google) and he types like an idiot. But he /is/ 36. :P We’re from a different era, and for that reason, I can understand why he might not be into the same stuff as me, so that’s fine. :) He understands why I might spend almost 24/7 browsing blogs and forums, and I understand why he’d rather just check his email and then watch war films all day. :P
Macca on January 8 2010 #
Well they say opposites attract, so maybe it’s good he’s more self contained. It’s easier to keep an eye on him at least I guess. ;)
Robert on January 8 2010 #
I’m very like you, and my husband has been happy enough to go along with it since day one without complaint (although I suspect he secretly thinks I’m a little odd, especially when I invite crazy Australian girls to stay over at our house). ;) We both use the internet heavily for other uses as well – work, research, shopping, blogs, etc.
Online friendships/ relationships seem to be becoming more and more common and aren’t seen as strange by most people anymore so I suspect it won’t become as much of a sticking point between couples in the near future.
Tanya on January 9 2010 #
I’m a techie, and ideally I would end up with another one, simply because a 50 year conversation about the merits of certain technologies would simply make my life. They don’t need to be the exact same sort of techie that I am, of course. But, seeing how it will be my career, I’d like them to take at least a bit of an interest, and of course I’d be happy to reciprocate. :D
Aisling on January 9 2010 #
My boyfriend and I are the same way. I blog, tweet, facebook, etc regularly, and he, for the most part, spends his time on lifehacker or gaming sites, reading about what’s coming out and the technology that is out there. He totally supports my blogging, reads it regularly (when I post, hah) and even encourages me to update when I haven’t for a while. He thinks it’s cool that I have online friends, because he has gaming friends that are all over the place. In fact, he rather likes you ;)
Stephanie on January 9 2010 #
My husband and I are similar to Dylan and you. I blog and try to comment on other people’s blogs and spend time in forums and on Facebook connecting with people. He plays Warcraft (I do too, but not nearly as much), or watches videos or listens to music online. His only online interaction is with a clear purpose in mind, take down boss X (or lately fish up X number of fish).
Our online worlds are mostly separate. We share with each other what we’re doing: he tells me how to take down bosses that I’m never going to bother taking down, and I explain to him what I’m trying to do to my site’s layout, or what new idea I’ve come up with to blog about, even though he doesn’t read my blog.
I think it can be linked to personality. And stereotypically men are more goal/task orientated and women are more social. That’s not the case for everyone, but it is in my house. He needs to have a goal in mind or a problem to solve, he’s more into math and logic, where I’m an English major. It sounds like we’re opposite but we have enough common interests that our differences spark plenty of interesting conversations (and we have enough common interests in each others main interests that we know what the other is talking about even if it isn’t our passion). I think we’re a ven-diagram ;)
Amanda on January 9 2010 #
I’m pretty much the same as you. I blog, tweet, LJ, Facebook and post on some forums. I have an online circle of friends and acquaintances and hey, I was a TFL staffer for nearly 3 years. Putting that into a relationship perspective, I definitely wasn’t around online as much as I usually am when I was dating my ex as he wasn’t really a tech person – but that probably also has to do with the fact that I was just busy with real life in general (school, work, etc) and had no time for waffling about online.
Manda on January 9 2010 #
Despite Sam being a Comp Sci student, he doesn’t spend NEARLY as much time on the internet as I do. The only reason he has a blog is because he figured it’d be easier to enter his ideas into a searchable database, but he also wanted to share his ideas with others. He has a couple of social networking profiles, but he doesn’t really interact with anyone. The rest of his time online is spent reading comics and researching.
I’m online basically all day, every day (yay for being a bum, right?!) interacting with people like a madwoman. My internet friends are kinda like the crazy cat lady’s cats. Haha.
Darnielle on January 9 2010 #
My boyfriend doesn’t understand my passion for blogging, tweeting, social media, etc. either. When I go online, it’s always to read blogs, write or tweet but when he goes online, it’s only to play Mafia on Facebook and check his sports updates.
Katy on January 9 2010 #
T is good at basic techy type troubleshooting (when my laptop throws a tanty, I have a cry and command him to FIX IT OR ELSE). But he pretty much just uses the net to watch videos, listen to music, and surf trademe. And occassionally google how to do something.
Me, I practically live online for both work and play in the blogging world!
it’s a good balanc e- he keeps me grounded.
eemusings on January 9 2010 #
I’m like you. Most of my internet activity revolves around social networking and chatting to people. My boyfriend doesn’t understand how I can be so close with people online either. Although, he’s never online except for maybe once a month.
Britney on January 9 2010 #
While Tim isn’t very social media-ery, at the time when we met, we were both very internet people. He didn’t blog much himself, but he understands why I do it, and he thought it was very cool that I had my own website and stuff.
Belinda on January 9 2010 #
I would think that two techies and two non-techies work out the best, but that’s just me. It just works out better because there’s more “common interest”, and of course it’s another conversation topic to get carried away with instead of sex and marriage. But of course, there are many relationships where the two opposites work out very well (as seen in the comments above me).
But then again, there are so many factors to a relationship that you just can’t stop at a “tech vs. non-tech” type of debate. For example, my best relationship was with someone who was like Dylan. He preferred talking to people over phone, and he primarily used the internet to do research. My worst relationship was with someone who was addicted to technology related information as I was, but things just didn’t work out for us.
Merinn on January 9 2010 #
I got my ex into blogging. Now he has quite a blog empire, very active in the campus election blog coverage. Another ex turned to blogging to vent his feelings (hopefully not ALL about me lol).
Crystal on January 9 2010 #
Hahaa Dylan sounds like a very practical guy! (pssst keep us informed if he manages with those solar lights…)
But uhh anyway, I’m the same, I’m quite interactive with people online, but I’ve never dated anyone who was. In fact, I don’t think I ever will… it may sound a little strange but I don’t like the idea of a boyfriend snooping around my blog tooo much (they do that though, don’t they) even if I don’t say anything private? ><
Amanda on January 10 2010 #
I spend the most time online. However, Mike does spend a lot of time online too and doing similar things to me (reading blogs, browsing social networks, researching, etc). Where we differ is that he is purely a spectator, whereas I like to contribute. So there is common ground, but enough difference to give us something interesting to talk about.
Lilian on January 11 2010 #