So This Is What Actually Went Down
November 5, 2009 | Filed under Family & Friends, Money
Where do I even start? Let’s try and break it down into categories and organise the information, because this is going to be a long arse entry:
How it happened: I don’t think it’s any secret that I’ve never really been the daughter that my parents would have chosen for themselves. Past entries on this blog (check under the ‘Family’ category) have made it blatantly clear that their traditional strict Asian values are completely incongruent with my own. Put simply, they’re about as stereotypically Asian as you can get, and I’ve been told repeatedly that I’m about as white Australian liberal as they come. I drink beer! I enjoy pre-marital sex with white men with huge penises! I believe in equal rights for women! I like long extended holidays and don’t work six days a week, 52 weeks of the year! I have a tattoo! I’m immodest and flaunt my body in bikinis! I go out and party regularly!
And, I guess the difference between their actual daughter and their ideal daughter finally got too much for them. I was out all last Tuesday night, and was on my way out on Wednesday night, when they stopped me and basically yelled something along the lines of “If you take one step out that door, you’re no longer our daughter, don’t bother ever coming back, etc”. At which point I just thought:
Wait. What? I’m turning 23 in a week, I’ve been paying my way in this house in both a monetary and supportive sense since I was a teenager, and they still want to dictate when I go out? I’m not irresponsible when it comes to my social life – I hold down two jobs (have had three jobs in the past), I study, I organise their business and my brother’s schooling, and I balance all my obligations with a social life. So fuck that, and fuck them and their stupid antiquated ideas about propriety.
So with those thoughts, I left. I took that one step out of the door, and have only been back to pick up my belongings when there was no one else in the house. Which, by the way, I managed to fit into my new car, so I obviously own less than one Camry’s worth, considering the Colt is a micro car! I own much less than I originally thought, which bodes well for the whole minimalist and bare-boned essentials lifestyle I’m slowly working towards.
I have spoken to my brother, and essentially told him to behave himself and keep his head down for a while until our parents simmer down, but I haven’t spoken to my parents since I left a week ago. Nor do I have any intention to for a few months – put simply, I’m just too angry to see them or even speak to them. Given a few months break, things might improve enough so that we can meet again as adults, but for now, I just need to be away from them.
Where I am now: I’m share-housing with two friends – these friends actually. It works out well as we all work different schedules (one works at the produce market so he’s up at 2am or 3am, the other works in hospitality so she’s never around on weekends or weeknights, and I’m at work during the week and at Dylan’s on weekends), so it’s rare for any of us to be in the house at any one time. There’s no chance of having the petty disagreements that can so often plague a sharehouse as we simply don’t see each other to argue!
Financially, it works out better as well – I’m paying $100AUD a week here which includes room and all bills. And, because my housemate works at the market, I essentially get all my fruit and veggies for free. Considering that I was paying $100AUD a week for rent and board at home, plus paying the phone and internet bill on top of that, as well as doing the weekly produce shop, I’ll end up paying less in this sharehouse than I would at home. It’s worked out really well – but I’m also mindful that my situation is unique. It’s rare to find a place for $100AUD a week, and the only reason we have it is because the house belongs to my roommate’s grandmother who’s now in a nursing home, so he gets it at a cheap rate. I lucked out. Not everyone is as lucky.
Some of you are probably wondering why I didn’t just move in with Dylan. I contemplated it, and he offered it, but it would simply have been unpractical. He’s in a bungalow out the back of his mum’s place, and it’s simply not big enough for the two of us. It’s very far out from the city where I work as well, so location-wise, it’s impractical. I also don’t want to rush things – we both need our own space, and if we’d been together 24/7, I would have killed him within three weeks. This will work out well though, as I generally spend my weekends at his place, and he’ll spend some weeknights with me at my new place. We’ll essentially be spending five nights out of every seven together, but still have enough time to ourselves, which I think is the best way.
The initial set up costs for moving out are a bit daunting. I’ve paid for the post office to redirect my mail for three months (enough time for me to change the addresses at all my various accounts), and I went on a shopping spree on the weekend and bought:
- A queen size bed, two matching bedside tables and a matching chest of drawers
- A quality pillow-top mattress
- A portable hanging closet
- Stocked up on some pantry basics
- Basic items – laundry hamper, etc.
And I’m $1500AUD poorer for it. Had to – there was nothing but a single bed in the third bedroom, though I saved a bit as I didn’t have to buy cutlery or crockery as the house is well stocked. Worth every penny, because this was the gorgeous bedroom set that I bought:
Very sleek and modern. I could have gone a grade down, and simply bought plastic tubs to store clothes, and put a mattress on the floor, but as I see it, this is a long-term investment. I don’t intend on share-housing and renting forever – that’s money going to waste. As soon as I get life in order, I’m going to various banks and checking out home loan options. A one bedroom apartment near where I’m currently living is worth about $170,000AUD. I have just about $20,000AUD in the bank now, after having bought my car, and should earn enough to qualify for a loan of about $160,000AUD. It’s doable. And when I get into my own place (that I’ll own!), a good bedroom set will be one of the first things I need. I’m simply buying in anticipation.
So that’s the aim for next year – to get into my first property. It won’t be as fancy as what I was originally aiming for, but considering my changed circumstances, I think it’s the best option. So you know, I’m doing fine. With every dark cloud, there’s a silver lining – and this is it. If I hadn’t been forced out of home, I could have stayed indefinitely continually saving money, but continually setting my eyes to more expensive properties and never actually getting anywhere. This has forced my hand, and I can aim a bit lower now, and actually get right into it. Life is good, and there’s really nothing for anyone to be concerned about.
To end on an awesome note…it’s my birthday and I’m 23 today!
56 Responses to So This Is What Actually Went Down
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Happy belated birthday!!
I’m so glad things have worked out for the better, I was a bit worried there.
You have such good taste in furniture, that is totally my kind of bedroom.
Bobbi-lee on November 9, 2009 #
Belated happy birthday. I like your bedroom set. G’luck.
James on November 30, 2009 #
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