September 5 2009: Things Are Promising
Filed under Family & Relationships/Men
In regards to this entry, things are, I think, promising.
They know that I have a boyfriend. They know that I know that they know – largely because I cracked with the pressure of it all, and blurted out to my father a few days ago, “Hey, you know that guy who was here earlier? He’s my boyfriend”, to which he replied: “What, you think I don’t know? I know everything about him, your mother told me everything” and then walked away without saying anything more.
The good news? I’m still living in their house, and they’re conversing with me as per normal (e.g. yelling at me for not doing things they think I should be doing). The bad news? Every time Dylan comes over (and he’s been over a bit in the past week to tinker with my radiator), they do nothing more than grunt at him then ignore him when he tries to do the right thing and greet them.
I try to be positive and convince Dylan that they will like him. He’s convinced that he should never eat or drink anything at my house lest they manage to slip rat poison into his food – which, fair enough, because that’s what their behaviour would indicate. How can one even approach one’s parents and tell them, “Hey, your behaviour is not cool. If I bring someone home, the least you can do is be civil and do something more than grunt”.
I’m hoping it’s just a time thing – the more time passes and the more they become used to him being around, the more they’ll lighten up. Hopefully.
8 Responses to “Things Are Promising”
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I don’t know about your parents, but if my parents did something like that to my friends/boyfriend, I would certainly confront them.. But then again, they aren’t as strict as yours, and not very likely to kick me out of the house.
Emsz on September 5 2009 #
My mother was like that towards my then boyfriend. I guess she thought that if she acted like that, he would leave me because he couldn’t stand my mother. I confronted her about it one day and had a very long and truthful conversation about it. I let her know that we were both very serious about each other and she needed to stop acting the way she was acting. I told her if her behavior didn’t continue, then he would never come over anymore, which meant that I would be over at his house all the time. I knew she wouldn’t like that. It kinda worked because she stopped snubbing him and even tried having conversations with him. My husband still doesn’t like her, but oh well. Point is she accepted him. She had no choice lol.
I hope things work out for the best. I’m sure they will. :-)
Lucy on September 5 2009 #
My boyfriend’s parents were like this towards me for a long time. They also are fairly script. It took some time, I was just quiet and minded my own business as politely as I could. they eventually worked things out with Kristian, who explained it wasn’t as awful as they seemed to think. It took some time, but now they’re pretty welcoming.
Mar on September 6 2009 #
Dude, you’re 23. Tell them they’re disrespecting a person you love and care about. Tell them they need to get over it because YOU LOVE HIM and that’s what matters in this equation, not that they’re pissed you’re dating someone who is white. You do everything else a good chinese girl is supposed to do — clean, work, run errands, take care of them and family. Seriously, tell them to suck it the fuck up.
But before you do that, make sure you’ve checked out some apartments you really like :P
Stephanie on September 6 2009 #
Having never been in your situation before, I don’t have any stories to share. But here’s hoping they’ll like him. Soon. D:
Noellium on September 6 2009 #
My parents would probably be civil to keep face. But then force me to break up with him. If it doesn’t work = disowned.
Anyway, things DO seem promising. I hope they soften up to him soon. Maybe after they realize this is serious and he’s a responsible person?
marilyn on September 6 2009 #
I’m not just saying this to comfort you but it took quite awhile for my parents to warm up to my sister’s boyfriend too. And from all I’ve read from your blog, I’m under the impression that my parents and your parents must exchange parenting advice online or something like that because I can identify with everything you say only a tad too well… But he (sister’s bf) insisted on hanging out here at home a lot and now I think my mom loves him more than she loves me. If he’s around enough and they notice that he does care about you, I’m sure they’ll warm up eventually… I’m not saying it will be any time soon but it WILL happen.
Felisa on September 7 2009 #
Hm… it has been four months with Royce already and my parents are very back and forth with their feelings towards him. One minute they seem cool with him, the next my mother is shouting at me for seeing him too much (one or two out of seven days, OMG, unacceptable, too much!).
Your parents are just like my parents; let’s put them in a room together and they’ll be best friends and leave us alone!
So it’ll probably take a long time for them to accept him; I know it’s going to take a long time for my parents, but hey, as long as Dylan’s willing to stick around for you then it just proves your parents wrong.
Dane on September 11 2009 #