A Total Invasion of Privacy
August 17, 2009 | Filed under Family & Friends
I’m trying really hard to get along with my parents – I need to stay in their good books for as long as possible. On the whole, it’s working – I’m getting along really well with my father as we look at one-bedroom properties for me online together. We enjoy discussing the pros and cons of each property, and like to speculate on selling prices, market value, etc.
Tonight however, I lost my cool and went apeshit at my mother. We had a literal screaming match that would have been heard halfway down the street and for what I think to be an entirely valid reason – she threw away some essential financial records of mine. I keep all my receipts for when I use my credit card, so that when I receive the statement at the end of each month, I can reconcile my receipts against the statement and ensure that there aren’t any rogue charges that I’m unaware of. She threw out all the receipts I’d been accumulating in the past month (the statement is due to arrive on the 20th).
There is absolutely no reason for her to enter my room and snoop through my possessions under the guise of cleaning. As an organised person, I keep my room impeccably clean – cleaner than the rest of the house by a long shot. She doesn’t need to enter my room and clean up for me by throwing out essential paperwork, when I know that she’s really just looking for a reason to snoop through my things.
While I realise that I’m reacting far more strongly than most others (most people aren’t as hardass about their finances), I feel like it’s a total invasion of privacy. I more than pay my way in this household in both a financial sense (rent and board, phone and internet bills, as well as the weekly fruit and veg now) and a supportive sense (running their entire business as the contact person for all their clients), I should be allowed my own space and privacy as a result. I just want to keep all relevant financial documents until I get the chance to check them over!
13 Responses to A Total Invasion of Privacy
Leave a Reply
I reserve the right to edit or delete your comment as I see fit, though I only delete comments from anonymous commenters, or people with multiple aliases. Using a genuine name/email combination will ensure that your comment is approved.
Augh! I know what you mean. I’m not such a stickler for saving my receipts because I review my statements online the day I make purchases and have my balance sent to me via email. (Yay, online banking!) So, basically, when I buy something I come home, whip out the receipt from my wallet and check the pending funds request. When I’ve confirmed it, I throw out the receipt. This keeps me from having to stockpile receipts and also saves paper since I don’t get my statement in the mail.
Anyway, though, I totally agree with you on the privacy thing. I hate, hate, HATE it when people just barge into my room unannounced (IE: no knock first) so I’ve gotten into the habit of always locking my door when I’m in my room since I was in grade school. That was 8+ years ago. I still get the *door giggle* THEN a knock, never the knock first. /sigh
I also really hate it when my grandma decides to clean my room when I’m not home for a few days. She rearranges everything so stuff goes missing and then she can’t remember where she put it and yells at ME. Plus, yeah, things get thrown out that I’m not aware of until I need whatever it was days later.
I wish I had a key lock so that I could lock the room when I’m not in it, too. >.>
Erica on August 17, 2009 #
*hugs* You have every right to be angry. While I don’t keep my financial stuff in my room (I keep my receipts in my wallet — but only when I use my credit and debit card at stores — so my receipts aren’t a lot to the point I can’t keep it in my wallet), I understand how you feel in this situation. If my parents threw away something from my room that’s not garbage, I’d go into a rampage, too. I cherish my stuff, and I do not appreciate anybody snooping through my stuff, either.
. . . Luckily, my parents do not do that. If they do, I’d move out and not talk to them for ages.
Tara on August 17, 2009 #
Dude, that’s total crap man. I go apeshit at my parents for opening my mail (“oh I just opened them all and read everything before I looked at who its for” …how is that justifiable for it happening every time?) , though at least they know not to throw anything away. Hope your mum got the point after the scream-fest.
Jess on August 17, 2009 #
I agree; it’s terrible when parents do that. My mum totally snoops whilst “collecting dirty socks”. Considering I let my dirty socks heavily accumulate, however, I guess I’m partly to blame for her being in my room in the first place.
If I found out my parents were looking at/throwing away financial records, I’d also be very angry, moreso for the privacy factor than the fact that I need the records (I do not have a credit card, and pay almost exclusively in cash). Although, I do keep all receipts (you never know, for example, when there’s going to be an entire chapter missing from a book you buy, and it’ll happen when you don’t have the receipt!)
Adam on August 17, 2009 #
I tend to remember my finances and how and where they’re spent, so it’s not a big problem for me. Plus I’ve got no credit cards to use, only two debit cards, and I don’t use them that much either.
My mom used to snoop in my room; I never caught her and she’d never admit it but I’m sure she did. She never found anything incriminating, though, I’m always one step ahead of her.
Anyways, if I were keeping receipts and stuff to match up with my statement and she threw it all away, I’d get plenty pissed too. It’s a very valid reason, as you said.
Dane on August 18, 2009 #
Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry that your mother threw out your things. She had no right to do that without asking you. :(
Caity on August 18, 2009 #
My mum used to tidy my room sometimes but she’ll always keep stuff for me to check before chucking it. I can’t quite comprehend throwing away your recent bank statements, they’re always important.
Your reaction was natural, forget the neighbours they’d understand.
Charlie on August 18, 2009 #
So how did your mum defend her actions? (I’m guessing she did, hence the argument…)
I’ve still got shit at my mum’s and I’ve been moved out for about 3-4 years. I know she wouldn’t go through it – hasn’t been through it – if only because of the 3 inch of dust on top.
Reply: “She’s my mother and is therefore entitled to whatever she chooses”.
Jem on August 18, 2009 #
Oh my, that sucks. T_T My mom never bothers going into my room anymore (unless if there’s something she needs from my bathroom cabinet, since we keep all our medicines in there), even when there’s crap piling everywhere. (And when that happens, she just gets on my case about keeping my room clean.)
I hope you and your mom reach a resolution. ;.; *hug*
Noellium on August 18, 2009 #
I do the exact same thing. My mom just goes into my room or into my desk and figures what is important or not. Then throws stuff away according to her own judgment. I have become so tired of telling her NOT to do this simply on the PRINCIPLE of control of one’s own things that I totally go crazy when she does it. Even when she goes into my room and rearranges stuff. I tell her, “no, you moved it and I moved it back, so I want it there.” And she continues to change it! I ask her why and she just says, “i think it’s better that way.” I even go crazy when I’m sitting at my desk and she starts opening it to look for something. Like, I’m sitting right here WTF cant you just ask me for whatever you want?! She has no sense of respecting another’s possessions and needs to get some of her own shit messed with.
So you have every RIGHT to go batshit crazy. If I didn’t when my mom did that, I would violate my own sense of justice.
marilyn on August 18, 2009 #
TOTALLY get what you mean! TBH there are some things in my room I’d rather my ‘rents didn’t see, so it terrifies/irritates me when they feel like going through my things, especially so when I’m not at home.
Melinda on August 18, 2009 #
Pingback: Jingwen » Blog Archive » She’s Incapable Of Keeping A Secret
OHMAIGOODNESS.
I feel for you!
My mother is the exact same way.
GRRRR.
My heart aches for you <3
Natalie on May 10, 2010 #