No Bodily Functions Please
August 7, 2009 | Filed under Body
Having anal sex makes you really flatulent for the day immediately following.
Which, you know, not so great when the place you’re spending your time has paper-thin walls, and although your naked body has been examined from every angle by the other party, you still blush when it comes to bodily functions in front of them and try to pretend like nothing happened.
And even when the other party tells you that he doesn’t care, because he still loves you although you once let a huge one rip in your sleep and nearly asphyxiated him, you still don’t feel comfortable doing it in front of him when you’re conscious, and thus consistently try to manufacture reasons to go elsewhere by yourself briefly, or to get him away for a short time.
You wonder how long it takes to get over this, and considering you’ve had similar no-bodily-functions-near-others issues in the past, you consider that it’s perhaps something you’re stuck with for the rest of your life.
14 Responses to No Bodily Functions Please
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*shrugs* It happens. I got over it quick, now that we’re living together. He’s still a little iffy on the subject, though.
Hopefully, you’ll get over it :)
Skye on August 7, 2009 #
Hehe. This too shall pass. In the meantime just make sure you don’t sleep with the covers over your heads. =P
Erin on August 8, 2009 #
Be glad you don’t have IBS. However, it could be argued that nothing clears bodily function issues like frequent gastric problems.
Lilian on August 8, 2009 #
He has no problem letting one rip in front of me (ew, gross), but i never fart in front of him. EVER.
Stephanie on August 8, 2009 #
I am rather amused by the fact that you’re more than willing to let a penis enter your vagina, which can be argued as being ‘unnatural’, yet you freak out about passing wind (a natural bodily function) around the person belonging to the penis.
Do you have the same reaction when/if you ‘queef’?
I personally think farting in the presence of anyone I know well is FUNNY. Yes, I am 12 years old. *farts*
Darnielle on August 8, 2009 #
What the hell? I meant anus, not vagina.
I think it might be because I’m still totally grossed out by the idea of buttsecks. :P
Darnielle on August 8, 2009 #
… well, that’s weird. My first comment was moderated, but the second one correcting my first comment went through just fine.
What was it the use of penis, twice, that did it?
/spam
Darnielle on August 8, 2009 #
Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis – you can delete this comment. I’m just making good use of the spam filter.
Darnielle on August 8, 2009 #
I just let it rip in front of Jordan! Sometimes, I’ll even be so mean as to hold him down when I do it. At first it was a sort of eeeck thing to do but I eventually just got sick of having to hold them in and after bum sex I just became totally comfortable with the idea.
xD Complete and total comfort.
April on August 8, 2009 #
My boyfriend is convinced that I don’t fart at all. I always let it rip when I’m home alone though. hahah.
Kristine on August 8, 2009 #
I tend to fart sometimes in the presence of my husband, and it always embarrasses me. I don’t do it on purpose! They just come out, lol. But he always laughs and tells me they sound cute (WTF?).
He, on the other hand, is totally okay with farting in front of me and does it ALL THE TIME. I’ve gotten used to it now, except for the ones that smell like rotten egg. God, those are potent!
Lucy on August 9, 2009 #
My boyfriend is more embarrassed of farting and burping in front of me than I am. It’s so weird too because I’ve had some pretty raunchy boyfriends in the past.
One liked to dutch oven me here and there when I wasn’t paying attention. Once he even locked the windows in his car, during a cold winter night with the heat cranked up and said “I’m sorry.” Of course I asked him why and then the smell rose up. Oh god the smell. :(
Jordan on August 9, 2009 #
This post is repulsive…but also hilarious!
Holly on August 9, 2009 #
A good Dutch oven every now and again is no biggie. I’m a big one for farting after sex, your whole body is much more relaxed, stands to reason I let one or three go in front of the missus after a session. Try making a big deal out of it instead of hiding it to change your own perception. But that sounds like PR nonsense eh?
Johnny on January 21, 2010 #