THAT BLOODY BOY

July 2, 2009 | Filed under Family & Friends, Relationships/Men

In regards to yesterday’s entry, my thoughts on the situation are fairly clearcut: It’s not acceptable. Yes, relationships are about trust, but it’s also about taking the other party’s feelings and concerns into consideration – you can’t dismiss your partner’s genuine concerns with a simple “you should trust me to do the right thing”. You might trust your partner, but it doesn’t mean that you trust the people they’re around to do the right thing, especially if you’ve never met them before.

Anyway. Last night, Mr. M (I’m actually rather sick of referring to him as Mr. M, so let’s just call him by his actual name from now on: Dylan) and I took my brother out for a cheap and fast dinner at the local Vietnamese restaurant as my parents weren’t home. He commented that my brother was incredibly socially awkward – when I left them alone briefly, he’d tried to talk to him about gaming and stuff as that’s what my brother’s into, but only got monosyllabic answers in return. And he’s right – my brother is incredibly socially awkward, much worse than I was at that age.

My brother is intelligent for his age, and academically gifted, but he simply doesn’t know how to make small talk, or to keep a conversation going. He lacks social skills, would never approach anyone voluntarily to ask for anything, and at the first party he goes to, I can guarantee you that he’d be the wallflower whereas I was always the one at the centre of the dancefloor. Truthfully, I don’t even know how to help him overcome this problem. You can’t teach social skills – I’ve tried to encourage him to go out with his friends and to have friends over, but it’s simply not something he’s interested in.

Anyway, the above was somewhat of a tangent. The real point of the entry: after dinner, we went home to find my parents home. Dylan came in for a few minutes to say hello to my parents, as part of our larger plan to make the concept of him as my boyfriend acceptable to my parents. The theory is that when they get used to seeing him around as a “friend”, they’ll be more likely to take the news well when I tell them that we’re dating. That’s the theory anyway, whether or not it works is another matter.

He left about fifteen minutes later, with the idea that I would follow a half hour after that as I was going to spend the night at his place. His departure was hassle-free. Mine wasn’t.

I made a quick exit, but my brother informs me today that when I left, my father questioned him, asking if Dylan was my boyfriend. He was smart enough to say “Of course not, don’t be ridiculous”, but I think my father’s getting suspicious. Eep.

14 Responses to THAT BLOODY BOY

  1. I think the one mistake you made was to introduce him and then leave to go visit a “friend” after. You should have stayed in for the night just let the info sink in but not alarm kwim?

    Noemi on July 2, 2009 #

  2. Aw, I hope your dad doesn’t catch on. That’s great that your brother is on your side. My sister would rat me out.

    Caity on July 2, 2009 #

  3. I think it’s ridiculous that you would need your parent’s permission to date anyone. You’re how old? I know culture plays a part but if it means you’re lying to them the entire time, it just looks like a lose lose either way you look at it.

    Sarai on July 3, 2009 #

  4. It’s nice that your brother seems to be on your side. From what stories I remember of him, that might not always have been the case.

    Jennifer on July 3, 2009 #

  5. Your brother is a smart one.

    Though from what I remember, they’ve already been introduced to him before, right? Is it because your dad sees him around so often that he’s starting to get suspicious? I mean, do you have any other male friends over anymore, or is it mostly Dylan?

    Rosemary on July 3, 2009 #

  6. Well, at least your brother has enough social skills to know when to cover for you.

    Arielle on July 3, 2009 #

  7. I LOVE your father’s response. Not just THAT boy but that bloody boy. Awesome.

    Your brother seems very cool. Good that he has your back!

    J on July 3, 2009 #

  8. Haha. Scoff. Who uses that word in casual conversation? I mean really.

    ilu amanda <3

    Stephanie on July 3, 2009 #

  9. I think if I stayed over at anyone’s house I’d be yelled at. It’s just unacceptable.

    yay for your brother being smart and on your side though.

    marilyn on July 3, 2009 #

  10. I’m sure you’re doing what’s best for your situation, but I have to agree w/ Sarai. Lying for any reason only leads to trouble. And if they react in such a way that you feel you have to lie to them, then they’re doing something wrong.

    I never really dated in highschool, but my mum always said, if i’m going to, and it progressed to spending the night, she’d rather know where i was then be lied to.

    Christine on July 3, 2009 #

  11. Your brother is not bad :D My brother also lacks social skills but he’s the type who would tell my parents everything about me pfft.

    Chien on July 3, 2009 #

  12. That’s so annoying having to lie, and “condition” your parents to accept him (because he’s not Asian). Ah well, good on your brother for not ratting you out :)

    Also, now you realize that everyone will start hunting Dylans all over Melbourne, right? XD

    Vera on July 3, 2009 #

  13. You’re 21 years old and not allowed to date? Geez.

    Reply: I’m 22 and I have approval to date Asians. (Yes, my parents are racist.)

    James on July 10, 2009 #

  14. Oooh I like the name Dylan. I don’t think I’ve met a Dylan I didn’t like. :) My brother used to be soooo socially awkward too but now, he’s probably more popular than I ever was in high school.

    Anywhos, maybe this will be a harder process but if they see him enough (and he pretends to be that one guy who’s a good, platonic friend of their daughter), they’ll eventually like him. I mean, it might take about a century but it’s worth a try!

    Felisa on July 10, 2009 #

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