The Ideal Man
May 7, 2009 | Filed under Relationships/Men
I used to think about the characteristics my ideal partner would possess in entirely romantic and unrealistic terms: he would be tall, dark, handsome, rich, funny, intelligent. Needless to say those qualities would still be welcome, but I’ve come to realise that there are other qualities that I would prize far above the ones I’ve mentioned so far:
- Fiscal Responsibility: I’ve been told that I micromanage my finances and obsess over money – and they’re probably right. It’s not a bad trait (I still know how to enjoy spending money), but because my frugality is such a key defining point of my lifestyle, I need a man who understands the value of money and isn’t overly extravagant in his spending habits.
- Social Conscience: I consider myself to be very much socially liberal, and believe in the value of socialised medicine, public education, a well-run and efficient welfare system, equal rights for all regardless of ethnicity, gender, orientation, etc. My partner would have to be, if not similarly socially liberal, at least not a social conservative. I could never be with a bigot.
- Culturally Sensitive: Though I’m very Australian in much of what I do, I never lose sight of the fact that I am ethnically Chinese. I celebrate my Chinese heritage, I embrace the language and certain traditions, and I fully intend on bringing up any future children to appreciate and understand their Chinese ancestry. My partner will have to understand that although his children will be mixed race (let’s be honest, chances are I’m probably going to end up with a white dude) and brought up in Western society, I’m going to ensure that they will still be exposed to Chinese culture.
- Family Loyalty: As many differences as I have with my parents and family, the fact remains that they are my family. And despite all our arguments and culture clashes, I still respect them for what they have achieved, and still consider myself a filial daughter – and wouldn’t hesitate to support them in their old age. My partner would have to understand that while all my issues stem from my relationship with my family, I’m still very attached to them.
- Ambition: I want something more out of life than just staying in the same city my whole life, becoming a working drone. My partner would have to be ambitious to some degree – whether the ambition takes the form of wanting to get into a certain income bracket, or wanting to travel to XYZ, or wanting a particular job, doesn’t matter. The thing that matters is that he should have some goal to work towards, some overriding ambition that gives him direction in life.
I don’t think it’s a lot to expect of a man. And if he happens to be witty, intelligent and charming, as well as physically attractive with a bucketload of sexual chemistry between us…well that’s just a bonus isn’t it?
7 Responses to The Ideal Man
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haha, I think you’ve described a lot of the things I *hope* to find in a guy one day. My guy will have to be able to charm my family (a very traditional one) and still match my Westernized values. You’ve described a pretty awesome guy right there!
marilyn on May 7, 2009 #
I’m with you on everything, especially 4. Sam doesn’t seem to understand the relationship I have with my parents, and while it’s not a BIG dealbreaker or anything, it can get annoying when he picks on me for wanting to call my Mum and Dad just to let them know about the mark I got on a test or just for another set of ears to whinge to.
The way he interacts with his parents makes me sad, but it works for him so I don’t say anything.
Darnielle on May 7, 2009 #
I agree on a lot with what you said. :D I’d want to raise my child (provided I do have them ~_~) their Korean heritage. My language skills might not be strong and while I am more culturally and historically aware as an American, I’d still want them to know some stuff.
And ambition is good, too. I’d hate to tie my life to a dude who has no ambition in life!
Tara on May 7, 2009 #
I agree.
One question: met anyone like that thus far? My hope in men is slowly dwindling; give us hope!
Alison on May 8, 2009 #
Where do I sign up to marry you?
Josh on May 8, 2009 #
Pretty much everything I want in a man too… including the witty, intelligent, charming, physically attractive and sexually pumped bit. :P
Kidding aside, those 5 probably top my list too. :)
Felisa on May 8, 2009 #
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