I’ve been very lucky with my parents though, in them always being (relatively) warm and accepting towards more modern lifestyles. I’m trying to emulate that trait myself.

Once all the second generation modernists grow up, I wonder what the third generation offspring will try to rebel with!

Otherwise, I find your parents traditional values a little strange. Does your mother actually take no pleasure of her own? Does she actually always submit to your father? =/ Those things seem like things that people say, but don’t actually follow.

Reply: My mother lives to work and serve the family. It’s hard for those who haven’t grown up in the same environment to understand, but my parents are uneducated (literally) and very very traditional.

My parents are traditional but only to a point. They see body peircings and tatoos as low class things…and kind of tarty too. Unfortunatly because of my age I cannot do things I want to, because my parents will not allow it (neither will my sister back me up.). When oneday I get things like that, I’d try and hide them.

They are fine with everything else, even if they wouldn’t be happy they’d support me. My parents have adapted to the modern world, and I guess the UK society too (which is different from their upbringing in south africa and possibly south african youth as they view it)

She gave me some sort of threat, about if I ever got a tattoo ….. I don’t know what.

Anyway, I got a tattoo when I was 19 and didn’t tell her for about six months, but eventually spilled the beans. She just said “Oh.”

But was clearly non plussed.

The other day I was admiring it and telling her how I happy I was to have it (we were tanning together in the back yard), and she just… didn’t say anything at all.

I know some parents warm up to the idea, but not my mom. Oh well. She’s still a cool mom.

I really can’t relate with the whole mash-up of tradition and modernity, though. My parents are quite liberal. My family is too, for the most part. The big thing will be the whole I-love-girls thing. My parents will be okay after a bit, but my extended family can be old fashioned in that they are conservative, and our ideals don’t match up. Ah well. I love my family, but sometimes you need to sacrifice stuff so that you can be happy. If that means I can’t go to someone’s house for Christmas dinner, I suppose I’ll go be with the person I want to be with forever, anyway!

That how my mom is with my cousins, she doesn’t mind that they have tattoos, she even praises them for them, but then again they’re not HER children, when it comes to HER children nothing is ever ok lol

One of the reasons I haven’t told my mom about my tattoos is for the smae reason, she wouldn’t understand. The only reason I’ve been able to hide them from her for over 3 years is because I am in general a very private person and would never ever change in front of her or near her and she know this, so she doesn’t bother me.

The sex thing… She finally got around to talking to me about it…. 2 years too late. Do I feel bad about lying ot her? Yes, but you should hear some of the things she has to say and what she says about my cousin (who everyone knows is not a virgin) ugh. I don’t even want to go there with her.

I totally understand what you mean. I mean, my parents DO try to understand the American way of doing things and whatnot so my secrets from them are more because of our generational gap than our cultural gap.

But when it comes to tattoos and piercings? They just don’t get them. They associate them with, like you mentioned, prisons and shady pasts. They’ve met many friends of mine who are pierced and tattooed and they think no less of them but I know I’ll never hear the end of it if I get a tattoo or a piercing.