Demonising The Female
March 9, 2009 | Filed under Body, Relationships/Men
I’d been feeling guilty about something that happened a few days ago, but Michael put it into perspective for me tonight: “I don’t think it’s your fault. You’ll get blamed and that feels like shit. But at the end of the day…he’s in control too”.
I’m not going to elaborate on the situation that led to the guilt, but well, let’s just say that I think it’s important to remember that it takes two to “tango”. Painting the female as the guilty party regardless of the circumstances really shows how far our society has to go in terms of true gender equality and the way it views each sex’s role in a relationship. Until we manage to get rid of ridiculous terms like “the other woman” and “scarlet woman”, we’ll still be the stupidly patriachal society that demonises the female.
In other vaguely related news, I’ve been contemplating taking on a challenge of sorts when I move. I’m going on a self-imposed sex and dating ban for the first six months of my move. The reasoning behind this decision is simple: I want my love of the country to be based upon the country itself, and the lifestyle that I’ll build for myself there. The move is about myself and my own independent future. I don’t want it to be about the men I have met or will meet, and I certainly don’t want it to be about becoming susceptible to British men with sexy accents.
…needless to say, six months will be a challenge. Heck, for me, one month would be a challenge!
Edited to add: Because I got a concerned enquiry, I should clarify – I wasn’t raped or molested or abused or anything like that. That’s not what the guilt was about.
7 Responses to Demonising The Female
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Yeah, but think about what it’s like for /guys/. We get to be the ones who are painted as simple and only thinking with our crotches and able to be led astray by any woman who looks our way.
It’s blatant sexism, I tell you. Matriarchal hegemony!
(Also, your little copyright marker in the sidebar is out of date now.)
Jarrod on March 9, 2009 #
I can’t stand it when all the blame is put on the women, especially by another woman.
If you survive that six months, I will hold a party in your honour!
Alexandra on March 9, 2009 #
I dunno, I think sometimes men get blamed for stuff they didn’t do too. It depends on the situation. It IS annoying, though, when you date some douchebag and then when you break up with him – TWICE, because he won’t get the message – he goes around telling everyone what a complete jerk you are and how he’s depressed and miserable because of you, and how you’ll never find another guy like him. Not that I’ve had any firsthand experience in this…
Rebee on March 10, 2009 #
You think British accents are sexy?
I take it you’ve never heard a scouse. ;)
Kristina on March 10, 2009 #
Psht. Feminism is for lesbians.
Just kidding.
Good luck with that 6 months thing. I did 8 months before I met Sam and it was surprisingly easy. If your arms were chopped off at your elbows you might have trouble though :P
Nellie on March 10, 2009 #
“it takes two to “tango” ” That should sum it all up as you said, people tend to forget that little phrase a little too often sometimes.
Good luck for those 6 months, I think it’s actually a smart idea and makes sense completely. Don’t let that sexy British accent, hair, eyes, godly body, get to you! To hell with men for 6 months!
Roxanne on March 10, 2009 #
It most definitely takes two to tango, and the sooner everyone realises this, the better. It’s ridiculous how much slack females can get just because they’re female and were historically seen as the ‘weaker’ sex.
Also- six months! I say the accent wears you down, and I would not blame you in the leastest.
Carmen on March 10, 2009 #