Taking Fertility For Granted
March 7, 2009 | Filed under Body
After I thought for awhile about a conversation with Aisling a couple of days ago, I came to the realisation that I take a lot of things for granted. I simply assume that they’ll work out the way I want them to work out, without me having to lift a finger to ensure that it actually happens. For instance, when speaking about the possibility of children in the future (I think the train of thought in the conversation was: menstruation – lack of sex – birth control – children), I flippantly said to Aisling, “Oh, I’m going to have three kids”. I want three kids at some point, but what’s to say that I’ll actually have them? My reasoning is generally:
- I have perfectly wide child-bearing hips
- All the women in my family are good child-bearers – my grandmother had fourteen kids
But these reasons don’t mean anything. I might have child-bearing wide hips, but my reproductive system could be entirely fucked inside – and in fact, might be because I have such irregular periods. The women in my family might be good child-bearers, but that’s in no way a guarantee that I will be the same. I could be physically incapable of conceiving and bearing the three kids that I do desperately want to have when I’m older. And it’ll have nothing to do with me being passive or inactive and unwilling to change the way things are, but it’ll just be something I can’t change at all.
I should go and get my reproductive system and fertility checked out now, while I’m still young enough to correct any problems I might have in conceiving a few years down the track.
16 Responses to Taking Fertility For Granted
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Yeah, it’s SO weird. I always go “I’m going to have 2 kids…” and I then I think about all the reasons why I might not be able to. It’s sad. I mean, I suppose I will still have 2 kids, no matter what, even if I have to adopt. But I was hoping for a biological one. Kinda.
Aisling on March 7, 2009 #
I can’t even think about children right now.
Okay, I’m lying… I’ve been all “aww” after seeing a cute kid. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. But I’ll just shove it aside for now.
I need to find a guy first, then after I’ll worry about birthin’ babies. I figure it’ll just happen magically~
Rafia on March 7, 2009 #
i have always wanted one boy and one gal…
how nice if i could have twins…
once and for all :P
annant on March 7, 2009 #
You know, I have this seemingly irrational fear that I won’t be able to bear children for some random medical reason. I don’t know that for sure, it just that I really want to have kids in the future but I seem like the type person that would be one of the unlucky ones that can’t bear them. Sounds weird, right? I don’t know, I get paranoid. Maybe I should check just to be sure.
My best friend says that she is going to have twins. Like, she just KNOWS she will. As in there is NO possible way she can’t have twins. She kind of creeps me out from being just so sure of it.
Kiera on March 7, 2009 #
yeah my cycles were totally messed up and when it was about 6 years of pain I finally went to the gynecologist. He told me I had endometriosis and put me on birth control.
And I think younger people always take fertility for granted. We don’t want kids now, we don’t want to think about it. But then when it really matters, it might be to late. I was talking to a professor about grad school and she mentioned how she wanted to get out fast so she could have kids. Even though fertility treatments have greatly improved, it’s not as easy as the media makes it to be. Plus it’s really hard to put having children into perspective at the young age when you are thinking about education, career, and doing things you wont be able to with a family.
marilyn on March 7, 2009 #
I heard that menstrual cycles get messed up if you are really ‘active’ :P I don’t know though, since I’ve never tried :P
I’m like you too :P I also want to have three kids in the future, one boy, one girl and one for good measure :P Of course, having more kids would be okay for me too since I love kids hehe :D
Chien Yee on March 7, 2009 #
I’m only half-fertile due to an emergency surgery I had to have when I was 15; I lost an ovary in the process. It’s still pretty devastating to me that my chances are severely limited as far as having children. I’ll go into menopause much sooner than all my counterparts, and my childbearing age range is very small, particularly because I plan on going to grad school.
People who take their fertility for granted bother me.
Stephanie on March 8, 2009 #
I always either assume I’ll have 2 kids or no kids. I haven’t put much thought into it recently, I’ve been focusing more on potential careers as of late. Which is sad, because while I do want a career, I want kids too, but you can’t have both, at least not at first…
I’ve no idea if I can have kids though. I assume I can, but I’m not sure because my cycle gets messed up pretty easily whenever I get stressed or don’t eat properly, which is not the best of signs. I should probably eat better and try not to be stressed…
Manda on March 8, 2009 #
You’re right, I never really think about the possibility of not being able to have kids :| I assume I will be, but one can never know…
Kaylee on March 8, 2009 #
I always took my fertility for granted too. I wish I’d had a check up several years ago like you’re planning on doing, it would have saved me a lot of heart ache and improved my chances. Hope everything checks out okay!
Tanya on March 8, 2009 #
You know what upsets me? Knowing I’m able to have babies when I don’t want them while there are a ton of women out there who desperately want them but can’t.
I actually hope that if I ever change my mind, I’m punished with infertility.
Nellie on March 8, 2009 #
I’ve always told myself that I don’t want to have children… I was always cool with it, too. Now, I find myself occasionally warming up to the idea. However, the man I’m in love with doesn’t want to have kids, so that *might* pose a problem in the future. I don’t know… I just don’t want to be one of those people who regrets these kinds of things as they grow older. Sometimes I think that if I ever *do* decide to have children in the future, I’ll probably find out I won’t be able to conceive them, as a punishment. =/ Not only that, but there are so many factors to consider, i.e. economic, academic (due to the nature of my developing profession, I need to be in Grad School for quite a while..!), social, etc. All in all, it’s somewhat complicated for me right now. If I do decide to have kids (and am able to have them!), though… I’m going all out. I’m having 3! :D
Robmarie on March 8, 2009 #
I’d like 3 to 5 kids. Ideally, I’d like 2 of my own (a boy and a girl), and I’d adopt one. As for being fertile, I’m healthy (according to my doctors).
If, for some strange reason in the future, I can’t conceive naturally, I’m not above IVF.
Chantelle on March 8, 2009 #
I have wide hips! I have regular periods! I want five kids! But you’re right- you never know what might happen. Unfortunately, this isn’t one of these things where you should live for the moment and try to conceive asap. I guess you just have to keep yourself healthy, and hope everything goes well when you finally do want it to happen.
Carmen on March 8, 2009 #
And I am your only reader that desperately hopes she’s infertile. Yikes.
Stephanie on March 8, 2009 #
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