Still Alive, Thanks To A Charade
December 12, 2008 | Filed under Family & Friends, Travel
I think I’m still alive. My parents were somewhat miffed (severe understatement) that this trip came at such short notice, but they accepted it, and I’m still in possession of all my limbs. I might have a perforated eardrum from the loud shouting, but other than that, I’m in perfect health and ready to rock and roll in England!
It was the charade I put on about going to Oxbridge for a postgraduate scholarship interview that sealed the deal – complete with the fake email offer detailing accomodation, flights, and activities that I would undergo as part of the interview process. It probably helped that I started the charade two weeks earlier (“Hey mum, I applied for a scholarship at Oxbridge, they only award ten a year to international students”), and continued it a week ago (“Hey mum and dad, I got a call back about that application, and we did an interview over the phone”), finishing today with a “Hey dad, I got an email back and they want me to go for two weeks worth of interviews and activities”.
So let that be a lesson to all of you. If you want to cajole your parents into not standing in your way when you want to do something, dream up a scenario where they would approve of it, then draw out that scenario over a number of weeks to maximise its believability. It probably also helps if they don’t speak or read English, so that any falsified documents you manage to draw up to support your claim will appear to be real.
And for those who think I’m an evil skank bitch ho for lying to my parents – it’s better for their blood pressure that I do so, rather than simply announcing that I’m up and leaving. I did the latter when I went to New Zealand, and even though I went with a male cousin and was comparably “safe”, they didn’t speak to me for two months afterwards. I would have gone to England regardless of whether they gave me their approval or not, so at least this way, they can let me go halfway across the world alone without worrying about the troubles their daughter might get into, and without my trip creating a tense atmosphere at home. After all, if I’m “interviewing at a top university”, how much trouble could I get into?
15 Responses to Still Alive, Thanks To A Charade
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Wow, I’m so happy my mom supports me in most of the things I decide to do. Actually, she went on a backpacking trip with me and my younger brother and two of my younger cousins, which means she was the only adult person (taking care of 5 kids), yet she managed to not panic and worry and we really all had a great time. Even me traveling without her doesn’t worry her, as long as I call every half an hour, that is. :) Of course I’m only sixteen now (and I need an adult person to travel abroad with me anyway), but I’m pretty confident that once I’ll be 18 I’ll be free to travel anywhere alone. I already have a New York trip planned for when I finish high school. :)
Zala on December 12, 2008 #
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Yeah, I don’t even know what to say to this. I’m pretty sure my mother would smell a rat and dismember me soon enough.
I can’t interpret this in any other way then disrespect. At least it seems to be going both ways.
Leila on December 12, 2008 #
Haha, that’s awesome :). I’m glad that I started traveling by myself (well, at least without my parents, that is) at fourteen. They’ve had six years to get used to me being gone for long periods of time, so now my mom’s only reaction is pretty much just, “Don’t forget to send me an email to let me know you’re still alive, and not pregnant.” :P
Allee on December 13, 2008 #
Eh, it’s not like you’re a minor so I personally don’t think it’s horrible of you or anything. Dan Savage says there are things your parents have a right not to know – and I know he’s talking about your sex life, but I think that extends to other areas as well. My parents and I have a don’t-ask-don’t-tell relationship in some respects and I think they can work very well. =P
Jack on December 13, 2008 #
My parents seem to be okay with me traveling now. Sure, the guilt trip they make me go through is pretty damn horrible. Mom: “Oh, you’re going to be gone for 3 weeks? That’s 3 weeks that I won’t be able to sleep…” But they don’t say no because they know that I won’t take no for an answer.
YAY for you though! I hope you get the scholarship *wink wink*
Felisa on December 13, 2008 #
Dude, that’s too elaborate for me lol and my parents understand and one of them speaks english pretty well so they would’ve caught on lol.
When Naty and I went on our first trip to london, we told them outright and they laughed cause they thought that a where would we get the money and B that we wouldn’t go. But I told my mom again and bought the tickets in front of her so she knew we weren’t joking… she got sooo mad and for like two weeks she said we were just foolishly spending our money, etc and then she was all like”you spent all of that money so that just the two of you could go to England when we all could have gone to Puerto Vallarta on that amout!?!?! lmao
She said that we shouldn’t be so selfish lmao My dad just kept looking at us with this puppy dog face continually telling us that it was soo far away and that it’s so dangerous out there, etc He actually cried when he went to go pick us up at the airport when we came back :)
My rents we’re a mixture of worry/pissed off but they learned to deal with it lol My grandparents are another stroy though lol They were all like ” OMG mi hija that’s great! That’s what you should do when you’re young travel and see the world, if you ever need anything just call us!” :D It was awesome :D When my mom objected I’d be all like “well Grandma and gramps said we could go.” :P
Noemi on December 13, 2008 #
Do you want me to take you to Oxford uni just so you don’t feel so guilty? :P
Rachael on December 13, 2008 #
My parents let me travel to the US to visit a friend when I was sixteen, so this isn’t really an issue for me.
Aren’t you worried something will make your parents see through your scheme? ;)
Mari on December 13, 2008 #
OMG WUT?? That’s pretty intense!! I’m not so sure I’m capable of pulling off something like that (… anymore :P), but I definitely see the reasoning behind it. My mom has mellowed with age, so at this point I’d probably give her a watered-down version of my plans, or give her the intellectual/cultural aspects of the trip — and everyone would eat that up, because I’m a total nerd like that :D
Anywho, you should take up Rachael’s offer of going to Oxford and take a few pictures looking scholarly while you’re at it… maybe bring back a couple of pamphlets and shizz :P
Robmarie on December 13, 2008 #
Wow, you come up with elaborate schemes. I’d never have been able to pull it off. :P Besides, both my parents know English (well enough, at least) and my sisters would probably smell something fishy… :D
Anyway, yay for England!
Kycoo on December 13, 2008 #
I can completely understand why you would have to pull something like that off instead of telling them outright xD I don’t think my parents would be happy with me going on a trip without another family member until I’m married with kids or something D;
Kaylee on December 13, 2008 #
I’m so sorry you have to go through this with your parents! Never would have understood it based on my own family, but I have seen similar dynamics with a close friend and her parents. (They even made her go through with an entire sham wedding and painful divorce, just so they wouldn’t lose face after sending out invites!)
My hubby’s parents are a bit in that vein as well, and I can never understand it. How do they not see that they’re depriving *themselves* by missing out on knowing who their children are and what’s really going on in their lives??
Then again, I’m American and friend’s and hubby’s parents are Asian, so I figure there are cultural aspects that I simply don’t understand….
Tara on December 13, 2008 #
That’s awesome. I wish you didn’t have to do it but I’d rather you did than accidentally kill your parents with the truth.
Rebee on December 13, 2008 #
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