A Disdain For Passiveness
November 10, 2008 | Filed under Family & Friends, Politics
I’ve been thinking about something recently which continues to confuse me, no matter how I try to look at the issue. I’m hoping that it’s something that you (as a subscriber, a reader, a commenter) can explain to me, as I can’t begin to imagine the reasoning behind such behaviour.
A few months ago, I made the acquaintance of a 25-year-old single mother of a six-year-old son. Our acquaintance is superficial at the best of times; thrown together by sheer circumstance, we make polite chitchat when forced to, though we have absolutely nothing in common. Over time, I began to realise something strange – that not once, has she ever made any reference to having a job, to education, to searching for a job, to anything which can potentially be classified as productive and planning for the future.
Seeking clarification from mutual acquaintances (as I’m not ill-bred enough to directly demand someone to clarify their situation), I was informed that she’s a single mother, unemployed, living in commission housing, and collecting benefits from the government. She’s not job-hunting, she’s not organising further education, she’s not doing anything other than collect government benefits. Yet it’s not as though she’s unable to work, as she’s physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy. It’s not as though there’s any time/parenting demands on her, as half the time, her son is left to be cared for by her mother or brother, while she spends time alone with her boyfriend.
What disappoints me most however, is not her own apathy and passiveness, but rather the effect that this will have on her son. What kind of example is she setting for an impressionable child? That it’s okay to not work, because the government will be there to pick up after you? That it’s okay to not seek self-improvement or independence of any sort because that would require some degree of personal responsibility? That it’s okay to stand in line to receive the dole when you could be making an honest living instead? That it’s okay to resign yourself to living in substandard housing, living hand-to-mouth, and being the scum of society when you’re more than capable of trying to achieve more?
I suppose it’s this kind of thing that really highlights my intolerance. Granted, it’s not intolerance of race, of gender, or anything outside one’s control, but rather, it’s intolerance of passiveness and an unwillingness to improve one’s situation. Coming from a migrant workhorse perspective, I simply cannot understand the mentality of these people. Can someone please explain it to me?
19 Responses to A Disdain For Passiveness
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The mentality is quite possibly laziness. Many people, if not most people, do not like working. Since she can get by without working, she’s decided not to. Her living conditions might be poor, but clearly she considers them satisfactory. If she’s content to live with what she has, why would she go and get a job?
It’s not a mentality I could ever really have myself, I think, but I can sort of see why other people might.
Jessica on November 10, 2008 #
Apologies for my ignorance, but I had always thought the unemployed could only get unemployment benefits when they were supposedly actively seeking a job (or other more-legitimate reasons). But if she’s able-bodied and not job-seeking, it’s stupidity from the government to grant her a benefit that could allow her to live like this. Perhaps she’s pretending to the agencies to be looking for a job, I don’t know, but either way, it’s sad that the government allows this. And even worse, that she’s allowing it for herself. If I was to be in her position, I don’t think I could find a purpose in my life.
Rilla on November 10, 2008 #
I don’t understand it either. I mean I’m working 60 hours a week to get all my bills paid, and that’s barely enough.
I agree with Jessica, that it’s mostly just lazy. So many want to take the easy route, and damn any consequences it might have on their children’s well being.
My sister is a prime example of that and it tears me apart because of the influence she has over her son.
Veronica on November 10, 2008 #
Perhaps she has goals, but lacks the self efficacy required to achieve them? Or perhaps she learnt from her parents, as her son will most probably learn from her, that one does not need to put in effort in life.
Either way, it’s a cycle that continues and there really is a lack of interventions targeting the causes of these issues.
Alexandra on November 10, 2008 #
These are the people that made me not want Barack Obama in office, because until he shouts “REFORM!” at the top of his lungs relating to the welfare system, all he’s going to do is keep giving these people more and more money. The current system is broken, and shoving more money into it, according to plan, isn’t going to help.
I have nothing against welfare. As long as it goes to the right people. And frankly, it doesn’t. Not here, and evidently not in Australia.
Stephanie on November 10, 2008 #
Perhaps she feels she has been wronged in some way and deserves to be taken care of?
Either way, it is people like her that make the welfare system look bad to many, causing them not to support it when there really are some out there that need it.
Skye on November 10, 2008 #
I can understand wanting to have loads of time to spend with your loved ones. I can understand not wanting to get up at 6am every morning, commute for an hour to a job you hate, and barely have time to say goodnight to your son before he goes to sleep.
What I can’t understand, is the complete irresponsibility of milking the government for the money to actually realise those wants.
Mari on November 11, 2008 #
I think a lot of people here would love your government… if you don’t have an income, here, you’re pretty much forced to live on the streets…
Aside that, you know a lot of people don’t like studying. I didn’t particularly enjoy it either, except a select few stuff.
As for work, well I couldn’t imagine not doing it now, but then sometimes I’m so sick of it.
I guess she’s just taking advantage of her situation. If she can then why not? I’m sure if the help the government gave her were considerably less, she’d think differently… or maybe not?
Vera on November 11, 2008 #
There are far too many people like that in Finland (dude, half the people in my town “live” on government benefits, and by “live” I mean drink themselves unconscious and harass others). What bothers me most is that here the government will just pay the drunks (after all, it is not their fault they can’t quit on their own and refuse rehabilitation *rolls eyes*) and sort of forget about those who’d undoubtedly need the money more.
I mean, I can understand passiveness to a point, after all, I’ve gone through a phase extreme passiveness. But I had loads of issues and I’m actually doing something with my life again instead of just lazying around, expecting others to pay for my stuff.
Kaisa on November 11, 2008 #
I’m a firm believer that people should at least try to provide for themselves / their children. I can totally understand that she has to be a single parent to her child (although you say that her mother takes care of that) but that aside there are jobs one can do even part-time.
Here there are laws that people who can’t work full-time for a certain reason can get money to help them up to minimum wage (I think).
Either way, I will never tolerate laziness like that as the money they get from social security for not working because they just simply won’t is being paid from my taxes!!!!
If you can work, get off your lazy ass and do something to EARN money…
Chans on November 11, 2008 #
I have a very personal vendetta against people like this. It frustrates the crap out me when able-bodied people choose not to work and STEAL TAXPAYER MONEY!
Yeah, the job market does suck right now, but I’ve applied to 10 part-time jobs over the past month and not one wants to hire someone with a disability that could interfere with productivity. This girl is healthy and there are still HEAPS of jobs out there. Blah!
This is also why I don’t like left-wing governments as much as everyone else seems to. When it comes to welfare, they’re too lenient and don’t bother checking on people who are cheating the system.
*is angry now* Thanks Amanda :P
Nellie on November 11, 2008 #
I completely can’t understand this either. In my mind those kind of people are burdens upon society.. And I don’t understand how someone can be okay with being a burden.
I see it in a lot of my classmates, and I live in a relatively affluent east coast suburb. It upsets me, and I can be quite intolerant/bitchy about it too. There’s no excuse for not trying to have a better life, especially if you have children.
SIGH.
Shen-Shen on November 11, 2008 #
Like Nellie said, these people are essentially stealing the taxpayers’ money. Yes, there are people who legitimately can use the money, but if you don’t get a job because you’re too lazy… well, that sucks.
Clem on November 11, 2008 #
I don’t understand it either, your not alone. The mentality is just shear laziness, and your right, the worst part is what she is in turn teaching her son. People like that infuriate me, because they soak up the government benefits, making it harder for those who are actually trying to better themselves from receiving the leg up they may need to really get ahead. There is just no excuse for it.
Angela on November 11, 2008 #
But… I’m lazy? :P (not ever gonna have children, and don’t plan on depending on the government, but the whole ‘work for money’ idea doesn’t appeal to me at ALL. I just wanna have fun~)
Stephanie on November 11, 2008 #
I also do not understand the passiveness for someone who is physically and mentally able to work, but like you said the effects will rub off on the kid, and i’m guessing maybe whoever was taking care of the woman when she was young probably did the same thing… it’s taught i think.. the perspective these people are stuck in.
it’s sad that the government lets this happen, and that the money isn’t going to someone who really needs it.
Becca on November 11, 2008 #
People are lazy? Or maybe she has such low self-esteem that she doesn’t believe in herself and therefore resigns to doing nothing? But even so, you’d think she’d at least get a job at Macy’s or something easy.
Maybe her son will grow up with a desire to have something better because his mother never did anything to make his life better. We can only hope.
Arielle on November 11, 2008 #
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