Single Penis Girl
September 28, 2008 | Filed under Relationships/Men
Many of my acquaintances don’t know I’m in a relationship, for the sheer fact that it’s never come up in conversation, and I’m not the type of person to just start gushing “Oh my god, I’m like, in a relationship, lulz”.
For those who know, most reactions have been along the lines of “What, you? In a relationship? Really? What have you been smoking? Does he have a thirteen inch cock?”. In short, total and utter disbelief that someone who has enjoyed as many casual liaisons as myself would ever restrict herself to a single penis. And, uh, the guy attached to the penis. Because I’m not shallow at all.
I think that people in my life prefer me as a footloose and fancy free single gal. The ironic thing of course, is that my life really hasn’t changed at all. Logistically, I can only see the fella once a week, so it’s not like my time is being entirely consumed by him. As previously mentioned, I’m not the type to refer to him all the time. In fact, the only thing that’s changed is the fact that I’m only enjoying a single penis, rather than multiple penii.
Yet, people are beginning take a “omgz she’s half of a couple” approach with me, treating me as though I have no idea what it’s like to be flirty and on the receiving end of male attention. In short, entirely forgetting the Amanda I am, the Amanda I’ve always been. Dammit, I’m not defined by the fact that I’m a single penis girl!
14 Responses to Single Penis Girl
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“Dammit, I’m not defined by the fact that I’m a single penis girl!”
You have a penis?
Reply: I have a penis on tap, which is similar. :P
Robert on September 29, 2008 #
I’ve been a single penis girl for two years today, which is nice, but a bit irritating. I may win class couple for my senior class, which actually pisses me off more than it should, since it feels like I’m defining myself by being in a relationship…
I’m not sure I even know how to flirt since I’ve been with a single penis for so long.
Shen-Shen on September 29, 2008 #
Haha that last paragraph really makes me giggle. I like when girls don’t make a federal case out of the fact they are in a relationship.
Caitlin on September 29, 2008 #
Lol penii. I totally laughed at that for some reason. Stealing that word.
You’re making me want a penis, now. Thanks, Mands.
Xuan on September 29, 2008 #
Multiple penii? Hahahaha
And ummm… Does he have a 13 inch penis? :P
Felisa on September 29, 2008 #
Penii is now entering my favourite word catalogue!
I like how you didn’t just announce your relationship status to everyone- it’s awkward and weird. I leave it up to facebook for that stuuf :D
Alexandra on September 29, 2008 #
I was prepared for a raise-eyebrow-reaction to the title of his post – Amanda has a penis? DAYUM, where have I been?! Lol.
I actually dictionary.com-ed penii just to see whether it was a real word or not – surprisingly “pen15″ is listed as a reference …odd. But ‘multiple penii’ definitely made me laugh.
I agree completely, and it utterly frustrates me when people take a new perspective of you simply because of an aspect, such as being a couple. That’s exactly the reason why half of the friends I see at school don’t even know I’m in a relationship. And there have definitely been a few people who I used to have tons of fun with, yet the moment they found out they shied away and is like… “oh noes, she different now!”
Jess on September 29, 2008 #
Being a single penis girl isn’t bad when the one you have is so good ^.^
Skye on September 29, 2008 #
wait, isn’t the plural form “penises”? Kinda like how the plural for uterus is “uteruses”….yeah those always confuse me.
marilyn on September 29, 2008 #
That’s a bit silly, there’s no reason for people to treat you differently just because you’re in a r’ship. I mean, obvs, they wouldn’t ask you if they could hook you up with some random bloke from work that they think you’d get along really well with, but that’s pretty superficial conversation anyway.
And while I”m pretty sure the plural of penis is penises, penii sounds pretty good :)
Carmen on September 29, 2008 #
*bursts out laughing* Only YOU would define your relationship like that!
But to be fair, as far as your online writing tips go, you DO tend to write less about your sexcapades these days. *wags eyebrows* Is there a reason?
Seriously now, those friends of yours must be rather oblivious, if the mere fact that you said you were in a relationship changed the way they view you.
Vera on September 29, 2008 #
“Multiple penii” — LMAO!! I love it!!
Robmarie on September 30, 2008 #
Not even on Facebook? :P
Aravis on October 2, 2008 #
Are you actually aware what “Penis on Tap is?”
Reply: A quick Google doesn’t tell me anything, so you’ll have to enlighten me.
Toby on December 29, 2008 #