August 4 2008: Chris Rock, No Apologies Tour, August 2nd
Filed under Media
It’s not often that the word “dash”, or some variation thereof, and the words “metallic green suit” are used together in a sentence. In fact, I can only think of two situations where it could be used:
- I dashed across the street to get away from the menacing man in the metallic green suit.
- Chris Rock looked rather dashing in his metallic green suit on Saturday night.
I’m going to focus on the latter, because by golly, I would have eaten that man up if given the chance. Two nights ago, as mentioned in the previous entry, the dude person and I went to see Chris Rock live at Hisense Arena here in Melbourne. The setting was perhaps a little too large for a comedy show (large stadiums are best reserved for sports events and music concerts), and he’d probably have been better off doing all his shows in a smaller, more intimate venue like Hamer Hall, where he’ll be on August 10th.
I should also note at this point that I didn’t actually pay full price for these tickets. Our floor tickets were worth $150AUD each (god, the man manages to rake in the dollars), and however much I love Chris Rock, it would physically hurt me to shell out that kind of dollars for a two hour show. I actually only paid $150AUD for both tickets, due to striking the jackpot on a lucky eBay auction. Obviously, getting tickets for half price isn’t something that happens every day, but every so often, you too could strike it lucky. My Homebake tickets were a bargain, as were some Pete Murray tickets that I got for later this month. It might only happen once or twice a year, but when it happens, you’ll be riding on the wave of your bargain-hunting skillz0rz until the next time it happens.
Anyway. Chris Rock. A very funny comedian. For those who don’t know him - the zebra in Madagascar, creator of Everybody Hates Chris, etc. His humour isn’t necessarily to everyone’s taste (he plays up gender and racial sterotypes), so I do recommend that the morally self-righteous with an inability to take a joke with the necessary good humour stay far away from him. In fact stop reading this entry right now, because the rest of it is dedicated to reliving the aforementioned gender and racial humour.
What I personally found most amusing was his explanation of exactly when it’s okay for a white (or, any non-black) person to use the word “nigger” without being offensive. Stemming from his description of his white friends’ reactions to Dr. Dre songs where every third word is nigger, Rock then explained that as a non-black, the only time I can use the word without repercussions, is when:
- It’s between 4.30pm and 4.49pm on Christmas Eve
- I’m on my way for the toy store to buy the last Transformers toy for my child
- A black person mugs me, beats me up, then pisses on me before running away
Only if the situation fits all three of the above requirements, can I shout out “Hey, someone catch that nigger!” without any repercussions. That goes for all of you too. Let that be your lesson of the day.
He spent awhile dwelling on the American election. On John McCain (He’s not worried about having his past investigated, because everyone he knows is dead!), on Hillary Clinton (The President would like to interrupt this broadcast for an important message: Bill….please come home! America, stop sleeping with my husband!), on Barack Obama (That is the blackest name I’ve ever heard, you really couldn’t mistake him for anything but a black man). The audience was surprisingly liberal (I was surprised to hear deafening cheers for Obama whenever Rock mentioned his name), but I suppose that’s to be expected. Only the most liberal people of Melbourne would buy tickets to see a black American comedian in white-dominated Australia.
Speaking of the overwhelmingly white population of Australia, Rock made reference to this in his opening speech: “Thanks for inviting me to Melbourne. It’s nice to see that all eight of the black people in this city are here tonight”. He then played upon the colonial treatment of the indigenous population: “Did you know it was legal to hunt Aboriginies until the 1920s? Do you know what that means? It means that somewhere, people were eating the black man until the 1920s, because you always take at least one bite of whatever you hunt. Hunt a rabbit? Eat a rabbit. Hunt a bear? Eat a bear. Hunt a nigger? Eat a nigger.”
Thank you internets, this has been Amanda of Jingwen bringing you the brilliance of Chris Rock live. I’ll be here all week.
Oh, how I love him! I adore racial/gender stereotyping.. When it’s done humorously of course. And for some reason I find Chris Rock’s voice just plain amusing, just by itself. Weird, perhaps.
Shen-Shen on August 4 2008 #
Chris Rock is funny mostly because of his voice… and his racial/gender stereotypes in his jokes.
Felisa on August 4 2008 #
Ahhh, I am so jealous! I absolutely adore Chris Rock.
Angela on August 4 2008 #
Hahaha this post made me laugh so much. *proceeds to go on youtube to look for chris rock videos*
Crystal on August 4 2008 #
Sounds like fun. Ive nevr been to a comedy show but shall have to put that on my list. :-D
So, since he is American, I have one quick question. Did he say mel-born or mal-ben? Ha. :-D
Skye on August 4 2008 #
I tried to watch couple of Chris Rock videos on YouTube after your last entry to see why people like him so much, but I just didn’t get it. Now, after reading this entry, I’ve come to a conclusion that it’s his voice and demeanor that bother me, because he sounds a whole lot funnier in written form :P
Kaisa on August 4 2008 #
Silly Me. I kept thinking of Chris Tucker when I was reading this, which made it a real strange read since Chris Tucker will always be in my head as Ruby Rhod from The Fifth Element or that dude from Rush Hour.
Anyway, glad you had a blast at the show. :3 I am not a big stand-up comedian because I wouldn’t always understand what’s being said . . . (darn hearing problems!) so reading it is always funnier for me than hearing it!
Tara on August 5 2008 #
I don’t know, I’m not really into stand up comedians for some reason. Actually, I’m not really into comedies (except for a few stuff). I’ll watch some of the Axis of Evil stuff on Comedy Central and Russell Peters… but I do have to admit that Chris Rock is pretty funny from what I’ve seen on television.
And Everybody Hates Chris is actually a really funny show that sadly no one watches.
Glad you had a good time.
Rafia on August 5 2008 #
I would love to see Chris Rock perform. I’m jealous!
Nicolah on August 5 2008 #
@Kaisa - Yea I found that too about his videos. Can’t stand his voice >.< so I’ll stick to written descriptions of him.
Russell Peters is, however, AWESOME X 100000. Go watch him on Youtube =D
Crystal on August 5 2008 #
“What I personally found most amusing was his explanation of exactly when it’s okay for a white (or, any non-black) person to use the word “nigger” without being offensive. … Only if the situation fits all three of the above requirements, can I shout out ‘Hey, someone catch that nigger!’ without any repercussions. That goes for all of you too. Let that be your lesson of the day.” I guess that makes me the one exception to your warning, Amanda! :P That actually makes me very curious now as to how diverse your readership is.
Chris Rock… I love Everybody Hates Chris because I feel like I actually know that family, but aside from his role as the hamster in Dr. Doolittle, he annoys me. It’s his voice I think. I guess that’s part of the reason why people find him funny. Personally, my favorite stand-up comedian has to be Dave Chappelle though. Too bad he seems to have ditched the business.
Reply: My readership tends to edge towards the white yellow (e.g. yellow living in a white country) colour spectrum I think…simply because they probably relate to my tales of stereotypical Asian families more!
Asia on August 6 2008 #
Jealousy!! Sounded good, and score on those tix! Woot eBay lol. I’ve never actually bought tickets on eBay because I didn’t see why anyone would sell them cheaper than what it’s worth (see, I’d be hogging the last tickets and selling it for greater when some poor sucker forgot to buy the ticket in time… HAHA, if only)
Jess on August 7 2008 #
omg! i went and i almost pissed myself laughing! he speaks so truly as well thats why i love him! yea he does say melborn.. but i saw him at sydnye entertainment centre
shady on September 15 2008 #
ahhhh! ppl say chris rock has a annoying voice.. very big confusion i love hes voice. im gona go watch bigger and blacker now ahaha i love that!
and people look up Eddie Murphy delirious, jo koy, dave chappelle killing them softly!
and PPL! wayne brady and jo koy are comming to australia!!!! hurry up and buy tickets like me :D
shady on September 15 2008 #