December 29 2007: QOTW: Concealing Faults
Filed under Q.O.T.W. & Style & Uni/Work
I wonder, if you know that you have a weakness in one area, do you automatically do your best to make up for it in another area, to detract attention from that fault?
I had a lady come into the shop this morning. I was dazzled by her appearance. She was immaculately groomed, with her hair newly styled, her makeup flawless, her legs fuzz-free, and wearing an outfit that I recognised as Lisa Ho. Her shoes were last season Marc Jacobs, and she was carrying a Stam. She was essentially, the most incredibly well-presented pregnant woman I’d ever seen.
Then she approached the counter. “I’m deaf,” she slurred, pointing to her ears. “Can you help me choose some jeans?”
Her disability was very cleverly concealed by her immaculate appearance. It brought to mind how I compensate for my bad skin (oily in patches, dry in patches, blackheads galore, uneven complexion – and all this no matter how much I cleanse and exfoliate!) by exposing and drawing attention to other parts of my body. So my question today to everyone who doesn’t feel as though they’re brand-spanking perfect in every way:
Question of the Week: How do you compensate for your (real, or imagined) weaknesses and flaws?
16 Responses to “QOTW: Concealing Faults”
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I have no bust, so I show off my legs. Well, I don’t do that on purpose (because, you know, I’m only 16 and I don’t want to appear as if I’m… well, I can’t think of a word… advertising for attention) but I might do later on in life. You have to compensate some how.
My skin is my one real weakness and it’s absolutely horrid. I suffered with acne in the past and it’s a real blow to your self esteem. I don’t know how you can compensate for that, I really don’t. :(
(That’s one well dressed lady though! I’d kill for a Stam bag!)
Amber on December 29 2007 #
@Ambie – I think the word you’re looking for is “harlot”. :P
How do I conceal my flaws? Well, when I’m not in denial about them, I try and play up my strengths instead. Take my clarinet playing as an example. I’m terrible at tonguing fast notes, so I tend to bluff that bit and show off more with my control on the high notes. It’s all about compromise and compensation.
My skin is horrible too. I suffer from mild acne. I have more blackheads and stuff than a lot of people, but I’m not quite “face like a pizza”. It’s entirely my own fault because I only ever use warm water on my face. I just tend to ignore the acne though, and focus on my cute eyes and nose. :)
Rachael on December 30 2007 #
I have the most unexceptional technique in dancing, so I try and conceal it by performing it rather than worrying about technique, so that way I at least have something I know I can do well.
Similarly, though, my skin’s craptacular – I tend to draw attention to my hair (haircut > short hair > spikey hair loaded with gel that’s so stiff you could knock soundly on someone’s front door without it collapsing), although it doesn’t always work out for the better. And my arms are about as thin and unappealing as sticks, so I show off my nice shapely calves. Piff. *pat pats them*
Xuan on December 30 2007 #
I don’t think I compensate. Instead I just ignore it and focus my energy on that which I’m good at. If I’m not good at something, I just accept I’m not good at that, and leave it.
Sarai on December 30 2007 #
Hmm… well in terms of the deaf lady, I don’t see her appearance as covering up for her disability. If she wasn’t deaf, would you have written this post? Would you have even thought about this at all? I think this post makes me think more about stereotypes. I mean, even though she’s deaf, why shouldn’t she look amazing? Look at me. I’m a computer programming student, and I’m probably the only girl in my major who carries a Coach book bag to class and cares that I’m carrying one. I’m also the only girl who wears this amazing invention called a “skirt” to class. One other girl proudly told me that she bought all of her new clothes for winter from Old Navy… men’s department. I don’t think an outsider looking in would guess me to be the top student in my department, let alone know how to use a computer.
However, as for your question, I try to see my flaws as strengths. I also try to think of times when they’ll be useful to me in the future. By doing so, I avoid putting myself down. Which means I also avoid being depressed. So as a happy person, when I face a new weakness, it is not a big deal.
Kimmie on December 30 2007 #
That’s a good point you raise, there!
I compensate for my lack of clevage (lol) by wearing quite short skirts. I do wear knee-length New Rocks (newrocks.es), so I’m not flashing so much skin I feel like a slut or anything.
I suppose I’ve never really thought about it before.
Kelly on December 30 2007 #
I guess her appearance didn’t have anything to do with her disability. She probably just wants to take care of herself that way regardless.
I think everyone tries to make up for their flaws one way or the other (although I don’t see a disability as a flaw) and sometimes it works better than other times. But what the hell if people don’t like you for who you are you don’t need to waste your time on them.
Chans on December 30 2007 #
I can’t imagine how being poorly dressed would have “shown off” her disability…
I tend to pretend my flaws don’t exist. I think it makes me a happier person :P
Kaylee on December 30 2007 #
Lisa Ho models are skinny. Very skinny. Very, very skinny.
I gained some weight in the past months. Fortunately, that also means my boobs have gotten bigger. I always make sure my hair compliments my face well, but else I don’t care all that much for what I look like.
Julie on December 30 2007 #
Personality and boobies. That’s it.
Nellie on December 30 2007 #
I wear black a lot: tight trousers and long somewhat loose tops XP
But I also tend to worry too much about my appearance :P
Vera on December 30 2007 #
I try to be as clean and neat as possible. I wash my hair every two days. I have nice skin so I don’t need to use an assload of exfoliating and cleansing crap – I just moisturise after a shave. I LOVE Natio!
I NEVER touch foundation – if I get a zit, and I sometimes do even with the nice European skin, I just leave it. I used to squeeze them but I just get big ugly red marks, so no more.
I compensate for my hourglass figure (read: b00bs) by lifting weights and wearing jeans and big shirts. *nods* My face is up here, boys.
Jordie on December 30 2007 #
hmm..I know I have flaws and I know I try to conceal them to some extent. But I don’t really know my strengths, so I guess I can’t really play them up either. I probably do more covering up than compensating. I’m usually too lazy, but when I get the opportunity (nice party, outing, etc.) I’ll wear something that will show my (somewhat) small waist.
what I do know is that I’m (usually) “smart” so I stay on top of my game and help explain stuff to others.
marilyn on December 30 2007 #
I have no athletic skills whatsoever, which is why I study all the time (well, not really). My sister has the brawns, so I try to have the brains.
I don’t think she was actually compensating for her deafness though. Maybe she just really likes dressing up. :P
Aravis on December 30 2007 #
That’s great that her “disability” definitely wasn’t a disability for her in the end. I don’t know if I really have anything that I’m self conscious about in that sense, at least not enough to try and over compensate or anything.
Spencer on December 30 2007 #
What I was just about say, I see that Kimmie has already said. I don’t see how dressing well covers up her disability. Are deaf people not supposed to be well dressed? I mean they can see how they look and they can see clothes and shoes and bags. Wouldn’t sloppy dressing be something you’d expect of blind people if you expect those with disabilities to look a certain way at all? And if she wasn’t well dressed does it scream out that she’s deaf? Just don’t see the connection…
But as for the question, I’m flat chested pretty much and compensate with padded bras and short skirts as i imagine most girls like me do, lol.
Reply: As far as I see it, if you’re wearing an outfit that costs in excess of $7000 on an ordinary weekday (rather than to a special event), and you’re living in a suburb that isn’t particularly wealthy where the average resident would have several hundred thousand left to pay on their mortgage (she filled in a “Join Our VIP Club” form with her address), that $7000 outfit is compensating for something.
Kat on December 30 2007 #