This May Be Controversial But…

October 28, 2007 | Filed under Family & Friends

I don’t agree with the way that children and teenagers ‘earn’ their pocket money by doing something as simple as the dishes, or the laundry. Needless to say, it’s a damn sight better than those who simply receive their pocket money without lifting a finger, but I still don’t understand why children are essentially paid to do something they should be doing without renumeration anyway.

My brother and I don’t earn a cent for doing the laundry, the dishes, or for cleaning up our rooms or the house. It is taken for granted that we do so, as part of living in a household where everyone does their fair share. My parents do the cooking and heavy cleaning, we do the small daily tasks.

Since he hit two years old, I’ve trained my brother to help with housework. When I was tidying up the house, he was taught to follow me around, going over all surfaces with a duster. Something easy and safe for a young child to do, designed to teach them the importance of housework.

Additionally, when pegging clothes onto the clothesline, I would teach him to get pegs from the peg basket and give them to me when I needed them. When all the clothes were pegged up, he would then be given the job of dragging the empty basket to the laundry room. All simple things for a toddler to do, and all designed to teach them the importance of playing one’s part in a household.

It’s all about teaching children from a young age to understand that everyone has a role to play in the family. There shouldn’t be any “if I wash the dishes, Mum has to give me five dollars”. If they want to earn pocket money, they can do additional chores. Elementary-school-aged children can be taught to pack their own school lunches, or to shine dad’s shoes. Teenagers can weed the garden, wash the car, or do the ironing.

Essentially, I would never reward your children for doing simple daily household tasks. It doesn’t teach them to be independent, and self-sufficient when they move out of home and have to learn to do their own laundry and cook their own dinner. Make it clear from an early age that they should be doing the tasks regardless of whether they get pocket money or not.

20 Responses to This May Be Controversial But…

  1. I get given £5 a week pocket money but my parents pay if I’m going out somewhere (… which I hardly ever do!) but that’s standard and by that I mean it isn’t for doing chores. I don’t think children should necessarily be rewarded for money but I do think they should be rewarded in some way for putting in the effort. It’s nice to know the work you do is appreciated and not being taken for granted.

    As for me, I feel like my parent’s personal slave. ;)

    Amber on October 28, 2007 #

  2. With money.* Will I never learn not to do typos…?

    Amber on October 28, 2007 #

  3. Oh Lord I agree!

    My sister and I got pocket money for a few weeks many years ago and then my parents stopped giving us it. I didn’t particularly mind as I never had anything to spend it on anyway. The only time I get money from my parents is when I need it – when I’m going out or something. Which believe me, is around three times a year. I’m quite cheap really and my parents don’t mind giving me the money as it’s such a rarity I need any!

    I agree with this post though. I’ll admit, I hardly do anything around the house, but if you compare the amount of mess I make etc. – well, it balances out. I keep my room tidy and I keep things I’ve used downstairs tidy (I’ll put things back from where I got it after using it and stuff). It seems ridiculous to get paid for doing it.

    Matt on October 28, 2007 #

  4. I agree 100%. Neither my brother nor I were given money to do simple household tasks. Maybe we were rewarded with a tasty meal or a cake, but never beyond that.

    I believe children need discipline as they grow, and what better to learn how to be independent and manage on your own???

    My husband and I were taught the same way, and there is not anything better than to know you always manage yourself.

    Getting money for things that as you said, should be taken for granted make, in my opinion, children who won’t move a finger unless they’re getting money out of it, and that ain’t good, I think.

    Constance on October 28, 2007 #

  5. I have to disagree. It’s not about giving children money for doing tasks they need to do later in life, it’s about teaching children about having money and having to earn, save, spend and budget it. Those who are simply thrown money, or those who get none at all, are the actual ones missing out.

    Ideally when a child is old enough and doesn’t participate in too many extra-curricular activites, getting a part time job is ideal. But an 8 year old can hardly be expected to work at McDonalds or the such.

    This is simply a difference in styles of parenting. I can see the merits of what you suggest, but there are also advantages to what I have said if it is done correctly.

    Reply: But that’s why children who are younger, who can’t get a part-timer can do the things I mentioned in the post – make their own lunch, shine shoes, do some weeding, mow the lawn. Those are extra chores, things that can be rewarded as they’re not within the spectrum of routine tasks like the dishes or the laundry.

    Robert on October 29, 2007 #

  6. Very nice post. I totally agree.

    I live alone but when I visit my parents I still empty the dishwasher or vacuum or set the table. I’m so used to it :)

    Tracy on October 29, 2007 #

  7. I was never paid to do anything like that. However, I haven’t done much housework to begin with. The way I was raised, I was taught to just be a kid. Then as I grew older, my mom wanted me to help with things and I didn’t want to. I may sound like a brat, but I still don’t most of the time. :/ If I dirty dishes, I will do them, but if my mom does, then she does them. You are right though, kids have to learn from a young age, otherwise they won’t want to do anything or they will want money for it.

    Britney on October 29, 2007 #

  8. My parents started out by giving us pocket money for the chores we did around the house but stopped when I was about eight. I’m not completely sure why, but it was the best thing they could have done for both myself and my sister because we had to learn that household chores must be done and that we’re not always going to get paid for it.

    I’ve learnt that one further since I moved out. Washing dishes for 7 people daily and not getting a cent!

    Nellie on October 29, 2007 #

  9. My brothers and I do all those chores you mentioned, and we get an allowance. The two aren’t related though.

    I get so jealous when my friend gets paid $40 by her mom to clean the kitchen floor or something, but I do agree with you.

    Kaylee on October 29, 2007 #

  10. Completely agree – since I was little I’ve done little things like polish or vacuum. Now, I’m at Uni in my first house (I was in Halls last year) with three other people. Two of them are fine, we dish out the chores equally and they do them. One of them has never lifted a finger in her life and thought that to mop the floor you filled up a mop bucket with bleach and then tipped it out on the floor! She had to be shown how to WASH DISHES. I was sickened. I’m currently training her up :P

    Kelly on October 29, 2007 #

  11. I think it’s not so much controversial as it is a cultural thing, because it depends on what any one family values more; the group or the individual. If you’re from a family that traditionally places more weight on the family, then children will be expected to help out because it’s the ‘done’ thing and the reward is supposedly in the act itself.

    However if you’re coming from an individualist tradition, then the emphasis is more on teaching children that “if you work hard, you will be rewarded (monetarily)”; this one goes back to Weber’s Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism (though the ‘root cause’ was Calvinism).

    And, for the record, my parent occasionally attempted to pay me a nominal stipend for doing chores, but I soon worked out there was no point as they would buy me everything I needed anyway, and the things I wanted were all out of reach of a 50c a week income. So I made up for it by doing well in school instead; good marks were always a much easier ticket to new toys…

    Dee on October 29, 2007 #

  12. Interesting post!

    I agree with you on some accounts, disagree on others. The truth is that parents (these days) almost HAVE to give their kids some sort of pocket money, since kids (especially young ones who can’t legally have jobs and make their own money) need the weekly allowance to buy lunch, go out with friends, even play a few games at the arcade… and I don’t mean extravagant spending, just simple pleasures most of the neighbourhood will have. Rather than just giving them this pocket money for no reason, isn’t it better that they get it for at least doing SOMETHING?

    Chantelle on October 29, 2007 #

  13. It’s a good entry. I don’t like how some parents give their kids pocket money for such things. Maybe I’m just jealous I don’t get paid to do housework.

    I used to get $5 for vacuuming the entire house. But then I got lazy so my parents hired cleaners in. :P Other chores… I didn’t and don’t get paid. Doing chores is more tiring than part-time work.

    Rilla on October 29, 2007 #

  14. I don’t get lunch money or anything and my sisters usually do the dishes after dinner for no money and take turns, but for the last month I’ve been doing them everyday after school and after dinner so my mom gives me $5 a week for lunch, which is barely anything. I think it’s fair. It annoys me when my friends complain about getting only $15 for lunch money when they do nothing.

    I don’t actually use the money for lunch, I just save it.

    Carina on October 29, 2007 #

  15. I’m with you on this one – it definitely has its pros and cons (i.e. teaching them about the system of being rewarded for labour/work/etc.). But yes, there is that certain downfall that balances out/cancels out a lot of the ‘advantages’.

    The thing is that most kids who do end up doing chores are probably too ‘young’ (as my friend once put it) to realise the diligence and responsibility they’re being taught; they focus more on what will benefit them, rather than what will benefit them as part of a group and suchlike. On the odd occasion where they do realise, however, it is a good idea to stray away from rewarding them excessively – it’ll just make things seem more spoilt.

    I never got pocket money myself as a younger child; I just tend to do chores because I’m raging obsessive-compulsive when it comes to tidyness and organisation. *shrug*

    Xuan on October 29, 2007 #

  16. You’re absolutely right Amanda. Although I also don’t agree when parents give their kids money because they studied and got good grades. I think you should totally study hard nevertheless, with or without a reward.

    Juice on October 29, 2007 #

  17. My parents agree with you wholeheartedly. Problem was getting me to perform those tasks, Granted, I never got pocket money for doing them… at most I got less than normal :P

    Vera on October 29, 2007 #

  18. Somehow life’s quite nice to me, I don’t get pocket money except during Chinese New Year and that usually lasts me the whole year, because my parents want me to save up instead of spend.

    I agree with you wholeheartedly, because lately the money obtained by teens here are used to but phone credits which they’d spend unwisely. Plus those ‘chores’ here are done by domestic maids and that all their ‘chores’ is to clean up their rooms which is a waste of time, because they _are_ responsible for their own rooms.

    Chien Yee on October 29, 2007 #

  19. Hmm…I agree so too. I think it’s sort of Asian in a way not to give children allowances.

    Personally, I have to be honest that I don’t help out 100%, but I’m well focussed on studies and never expect to be paid by my parents for anything.

    I used to get a bit of money for High Distinction competition certificates, but then that got out of hand, so yeah . . .

    Kumi on November 2, 2007 #

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