You Ask, I Answer (no.2)
September 20, 2007 | Filed under Life, Online, Style
I am currently staring down the barrel of a ten day break from university, within which: six will be spent at work, three will be spent moving and one will be spent running errands and going to doctors appointments. I lead an exciting life. Let no one tell you otherwise.
On another note, I finally received the peacock mask that I bought on eBay to wear to my masquerade party later this year. How exciting!
Now it’s just a matter of finding the right dress to wear with it – that, I think, is harder than it seems. My first instinct would be to go with plain, classic black – which would then make the mask the focal point of the outfit. However, as I’m the ‘birthday girl’, black is simply too dour and unexciting – nothing to exactly make me stand out in the crowd.
What I would like most I think, is this dress that Salma Hayek wore to the Oscars a few years back, but knee-length. When compared to the strappy concoctions I find in stores that are aimed at people with a C-chest or less, it is exceedingly boob-friendly. However, to get a dress custom-made here in Melbourne can cost from $400AUD to $1500AUD (I should know, I’ve had quotes done). I want the perfect dress…but I’m a cheapskate at heart. There’s no way I’m paying more than $100AUD for a dress, no matter what the occasion. The search continues!
Aaaaaand…just to catch up on questions asked after I did the first batch of answering:
In regards to anal sex: Does the poo factor not turn you off? How do you work around the poo factor eg enema? Did you try butt plugs? Have you already or would you try fisting in your poo canal? (asked by Ebie)
I’ve mentioned elsewhere (I think it was on Snark) that sex is all about being dirty – you’d hardly want to be anal (hah, pun) about staying clean, odor-free and interesting-bodily-matter-free as it’ll interfere with the very nature of enjoyable sex. Of course, it helps if you reduce the chances of messy anal sex in the first place – make sure you’ve been regular the past few days (e.g. not subject to diarrhoea or constipation), and that you’ve emptied your bowel fully at least four-six hours earlier. It would also help if you anal douched with the shower head, or something similar. Having an enema might be overkill!
I’d also keep plenty of those wet baby wipes, as well as dark-coloured towels by the bed to protect against any incidents that may occur despite the earlier precautions. I couldn’t actually tell you what these incidents could be as I’ve always been ‘normal’ in my experiences, but I assume there may occasionally be leakage, or perhaps even blood if you play it too rough. The anus is sensitive y’all, so be careful with it!
Basically, I think if you have anal, you take the same kind of precautions that you would for normal sex. Make sure you’re clean, that you have lubricative and cleansing aids nearby, and always use protection.
Oh, and no to butt plugs (penis » butt plugs…for the time being anyway), and no way would I fist in my butt. While not physically impossible (goatse anyone?), the pain would be unbearable. Heck, a penis blessed with immense girth would already hurt, so why go as far as a fist? Pain is pleasure…but surely not that much pain!
Who would you turn “gay” for? If you watch Australian Idol, who do you want to win? Paris Hilton or Britney Spears? (asked by Xuan)
I think the question, who wouldn’t I turn gay for? Physically, I’m definitely attracted to both men and women, and enjoy being intimate with both sexes, though emotionally I may only be able to connect with men. Of course, I don’t know that for certain because I failed at fidelity and staying true in past relationships. Maybe I’d be more monogamous in a same-sex relationship?
I really really love both Paris and Britney. I really do, and I know other people think that I’m shallow because of it, but I don’t care and I would declare my love for them from the rooftops. If it came down to the crunch though, I’d probably choose Britney – she simply needs me, my intervention, and my life coaching more than Paris does right now. Paris is a strong woman, and she can take care of herself, and then some. I kind of view it as my duty to bring Britney back to the point where she can take reasonable control of her own life again.
(Oh, notice how I’m ignoring the second question? I can’t believe you mentioned reality TV. I don’t even watch non-reality TV, or in fact, any television at all! DVD box sets is how I keep up with good shows…cuts out all the crappy ads, plus I can watch it any time I like.)
Why are you so awesome? (asked by Jordie)
I could answer this glibly, or I could be serious.
The former: I’m awesome because everyone bows down to my intelligence and force of my personality – I am simply the most amazing, lovable, and admirable human being to ever walk this planet.
The latter: I’m generally fairly easy to get along with (I’ll only bitch at you if you’re a real dickhead, and even then I’ll follow the “loquacious derision” route rather than the obscenity-laden route), and manage to phrase things in a way that’s entertainingly offensive without crossing that invisible “TMI” line – I manage to make people laugh, both IRL and here on this blog. Humour, and excellent witty comedic timing are, I think, the key ingredients to being a superior human being. No one wants to hang around with a boring person.
10 Responses to You Ask, I Answer (no.2)
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Why not get a similar dress and get it adjusted instead of custom-made?
Rilla on September 20, 2007 #
I will always avoid brown/dark guest towels from now on…
Nan on September 20, 2007 #
ROFL, you took my question way too seriously. XD
Jordie on September 20, 2007 #
Black is classy and elegant, but you know, Chinese people don’t like black. They think it’s inauspicious.
Chien Yee on September 20, 2007 #
Sorry for the double comment, but the mask is beautiful. And yeah, custom mades are very expensive, but then here I think some like that costs about BND 200-300. I’m not sure though. Or maybe you should *shudder* rent one?
Chien Yee on September 20, 2007 #
Wow! A masquerdae party? Awesome. I’ve always wanted go to one, they seems like so much fun.
That’s a beautiful mask.
Haha, thanks for those great tips!
Rafia on September 20, 2007 #
The mask looks amazing!
I love your serious answer to Jordie’s question :P
Kaylee on September 21, 2007 #
Masquerade parties reminds me of Romeo and Juliet. Maybe you will meet the man of your life there..maybe it will be Leonardo DiCaprio.
Good luck finding the perfect dress ;)
Jennii on September 21, 2007 #
“Humour, and excellent witty comedic timing are, I think, the key ingredients to being a superior human being. No one wants to hang around with a boring person.”
Remove the “I think” and this would be one of those amazingly profound quotes found under the “Wisdom” category at those quote sites. ;) Can I quote this sometime in the near future?
Reply: Go ahead! :P
Kycoo on September 21, 2007 #
Oooh pretty mask!
Belinda on September 21, 2007 #