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September 13 2007: You Ask, I Answer

Filed under Online

As per yesterday’s entry. If you didn’t get your question in on time, feel free to continue asking them on that entry – I’ll do the next batch of question answering in a few days. Also, nice to know that this has inspired other people to do their own ‘question blogs’!

If you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be? (asked by Aisling)

I’m usually all for dressing up, and making oneself look glamourous for special events…but if I had to live in any of my dressy outfits for more than one drink-laden night, I would probably fall over in my stilettos and break my ankle. No, if it was a permanent outfit, I’d have to go for comfort over style – my pyjamas would probably be the best bet.

Though, a new store has recently opened up near me called Lounge Apparel. They only stock clothes made of soft non-wrinkle jersey, which are both dressy enough for a function, but comfortable enough for every day wear. They cost a fortune, but they’d definitely be a good investment if I was to wear them for the rest of my life!

What do you eat/drink to make your boobs so big? What’s the meanest/bitchiest thing you’ve ever done in your life? (asked by Kaylee)

I…eat a lot of chicken breasts, and wash it down with tequila and lemon wedges? I wouldn’t say that that’s what causes my b00bs to be this large though. My family on my mother’s side all have large breasts (we’re all at least a DD), so genes definitely plays into it. If you’re looking into increasing your chest size though, I’d look into doing those “I must, I must, I must increase my bust” exercises where you kind of flap your arms around…or simply investing in a good push up bra. They do miraculous things – one of my friends manages to turn nothing (literally, nothing) into C cups just with a push up bra.

As for the nastiest thing I’ve ever done in my life, I’ve once laughed when I saw a woman get hit by a car on the street. She ended up with a broken leg. Other than that, it’s really just the normal every day teenage bitchery things that I’ve done – specifically cut people out of a particular friendship group, turning everyone against them and causing them to become a social outcast. You know, the usual. (I’m usually quite a nice person, honest.)

Can you tell me about your first experience with anal sex? (asked by Nellie)

You mean I haven’t already? What has the world come to?!

It was…probably about two to three years ago now. I was eighteen anyway. I met this guy and in the midst, we went from missionary to doggy, and well, the penis had a mind of its own. “Vagina?” it said. “No way! I’m going straight for the butt!” And it did. A bit painful to begin with (I think it was the shock more than the actual physical sensations)…but then after a while, that pain turned into pleasure. And that pain has continued to turn into pleasure to this day. (The End.)

If you attended Hogwarts, what house would you be in, and why? (asked by Meli)

According to all the online tests I’ve ever done, I’m a Ravenclaw through and through. I suppose that would be my academic streak and disdain for all those who don’t measure up to my intellect coming through…though personally, I’ve always thought I belonged more in Slytherin. I don’t mind admitting that I’m underhanded in all my dealings (have I ever told you about my relatives in Hong Kong and how half the things in their homes have conveniently fallen off the back of a truck?) and am severely in favour of stepping on anyone unnecessary on my way to the top. As Dumbledore said, all Slytherin’s possess “resourcefulness, determination, a certain disregard for the rules”…and I’m fairly certain that’s a near perfect description of myself.

Why are you never online on instant messenger when I am? It isn’t fair! (asked by Skye)

I blame the difference in our timezones for that! I’m really only on for long periods of time at night – which would be your early morning when you’re not on. When you are on at night, it’s my day when I usually only pop onto the Internet for ten minutes at a time before class to check my email. We might have more luck on weekends?

Which person pisses you off online? (asked by Belinda)

Oh Belinda, you’re trying to get me in e-trouble. Surprisingly, I actually almost never have strong emotions concerning online biznezz – I take it, or leave it. When people get indignant, I just get “meh”. With that said though, I find Mallory incredibly frustrating – and I’m not just jumping on the Mallory-hate bandwagon when I say that.

It all stemmed from November 2005 when I was still at the helm of Umb-Rella Reviews. Mallory had applied for a review, but upon opening her site, I saw a message along the lines of “OMGZ YOU IE HATERZ, STAY AWAY FROM MY SITE, I LIKES MY I-FRAMES AND NEON GREEN ON BLACK TEXT! IF U GONNA PREACH STANDARDS TO ME U CAN FUCK OFF!” Seeing this of course, I emailed her and asked if she still wanted us to review her site, considering that we would be preaching web standards to her – and also added in a sentence about how I think she needs an attitude adjustment. She emailed back telling me to fuck off, then blogged about it. A few days later, the drama was picked up by Jem, Jordie, and various other people who were then named “validation Nazis” by Mallory and her band of followers.

It was her stubborn inability to realise that i-frames, tiny text, and blinking graphics are not the way of the future that frustrated me most, not her stupidity and incoherency. However, I haven’t really had any contact with her since those few weeks back in 2005, so I don’t know if she still has the same attitude.

Oh, and I think Jane is a fucktard as well. But that’s only because she was idiotic enough to post Harry Potter 7 spoilers all over a forum frequented by rabid Harry Potter fans who are now all out to get her blood.

Armani vs Dior – which one would you pick? Who is your favourite designer? What do you think of the Louis Vuitton Speedy 30 bags (the Murikami multicolore ones)? (asked by Rhiannon)

I think I’d have to choose Armani over Dior. When it comes to my dressing habits, I’m actually quite conservative – I wear a lot of blacks, greys and whites (it’s a lot easier to mix and match), and Armani caters for that classic tailored look better than Dior, which I find more showy and ostentatious. I mean, I love Galliano’s Dior designs to look at, but to wear them would be much too much!

When it comes to my personal preference in designers however, I’d have to go with the likes of DKNY, Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren – and love Melbourne brands like Saba and Morrissey. I’m not a big fan of full-on couture (I fail to think of any instance when the average person could wear those creations), and definitely prefer well-cut, well-made, reasonably-priced (when you get them in sales!) quality clothing with an eye to classic designs. Haute couture may be lovely to look at, but they’re definitely impractical for everyday wear. The only time I would shell out thousands for a piece of clothing would be on Vera Wang for my wedding gown (and even then I’d probably look on eBay first to see if I can get it for cheaper).

As for the LV Speedy’s I honestly don’t think that Louis Vuitton should have released bags in any print but the classic brown. The repeating print isn’t one that lends itself well to multi-colour (in either white or black), or fruit prints. The style itself is lovely – but the company needs to stick to the original print rather than bring out different ones that will only be hip for a season.

You appear to be a very colourful and confident person… but human as always, do you have any insecurities? if so what are they? (asked by Mish)

I’ve mentioned this on my LiveJournal before, but never here. I have a huge fear of the future. As an Arts student without specialisation in any particular employable field, I constantly battle with the fear of not being able to find a job I love when I graduate into the work force. While I know I’ll always be able to make a living and support myself by working in retail or hospitality, I see those two fields as something to do for extra cash while I’m young and studying – not something to make a career of.

That’s why I’ve started loading a lot of extracurricular activities into my schedule, as well as applying for numerous internships at major corporations for the coming summer. I figure I need as much experience outside of retail/hospitality as possible. It’s not so much that I want a well-paying job – I would happily work in a low-paying job as long as I had job satisfaction and enjoyed what I did. I just can’t get over the fear that this job satisfaction will always elude me.

Do you ever get harsh judgment because of your liberal attitude towards sexuality? (asked by Chantelle)

Nice question! I suppose I’ve never had any problems with it amongst the people that matter. While my parents aren’t aware of my sexual activity (they’re very much traditionally Asian, so ignorance is truly bliss), other family members like my cousins have always been aware of my proclivities and fully accept it. My friends have never had any trouble with it, and I think they’d be more disturbed if I wasn’t so open about sex – if I ever started being demure about it they’d probably have a heart attack! My readers here have always been accepting of it and have never branded me with a “TMI AMANDA!”, so I’m not judged harshly in that respect either.

If the most important people in my life don’t care about my sexuality, and in fact, love me because of my liberalism, then that’s really all that matters. Whether or not others judge me harshly for it is irrelevant.

But for the record, yeah I have been. My loose view on sex outside of a relationship (basically, go for it!) has been branded immoral and unfeeling by others who claim that the best sex can only happen within a loving relationship, when two souls can join. What bollocks. I’d rather my vagina join with a eight incher, than my soul join with another. Physical pleasure resonates much deeper with me than spiritual connections.

If you could meet any person you wanted, alive or dead, who would it be? (Let’s say you also get the gift of tongues and can communicate flawlessly in any language. And this person can be real or fictional. Heck, pick a real person and a fictional person.) (asked by Kycoo)

Is there any way I can answer this without sounding pompous and contrived? Probably not. Regardless:

In real life, I’d most like to meet the late Emperor Dowagess Cixi. As a female who managed to seize power and rule a vast country for fifty years in a time and society where women weren’t exactly revered, she’s truly inspirational. I don’t actually believe the history annals that claim she was the reason for the downfall of the imperial throne – if she was as despotic as they claim, I fail to see why so many were loyal to her, and why she managed to hang onto power as long as she did – why was she not successfully overthrown?

As for fictional characters, as cliched as this seems, I’d like to meet Dumbledore. Not because of the fact that he’s a Harry Potter character, but more for the fact that he’s been conceived as a person who has immense power and intellect, yet hasn’t allowed that to get in the way of retaining a link to the banal pleasures of everyday life. He may be old, but he’s retained his youth. The man loves sherbet lemons FFS, he’s an inspiration to us all to not fear age, and to embrace our inner child!

If you weren’t a blogger and you had no idea whatsoever in blogging (or merely not interested by it), what would you be doing? And where would those hours in the internet go? (asked by Juice)

Seriously, I’m finding it very hard to conceive of such a world. I suppose that if I wasn’t blogging, I probably wouldn’t be on forums, designing, gossip sites, blog hopping, or basically any of my online activities. I may still be on Facebook but probably not as devoted on it as I am now. The Internet wouldn’t be anything more than email, eBay, and MSN for me – and that’s a scary thought. I’d probably just be spending my time watching reality television, playing video games, and still studiously avoiding assignments and coursework. I might even do some strenuous exercise outside of having sex – wouldn’t that be a novelty?

What are your body measurements? (Oops I sound so perverted.) How would you revenge on your enemies and five ways you would kill someone? (asked by Rilla)

Yeah, you do sound pretty perverted! Let’s see, I wear a size 12 Australian, which is about equivalent to a size 10 in American sizing, or 42 in European sizing? I don’t have a tape measure, but according to a piece of string that I used to measure myself with (which I then measured with a ruler), I’m:

And I’m about 168cm tall (5’6”) with a size eight and a half foot (or nine inches). So yeah…from that you can kind of tell I’m all bust and hips, very much an hourglass figure. Very Mediterranean, only you know, I’m not.

As for revenge, I’d have to do the usual anonymous deeds – defacing expensive cars, eggbombing homes, leaking rumours about the size (or lack thereof) of their appendage, informing their SO of that horrible STD they have, naming and shaming on sites like Don’t Date This, etc. You know, the usual.

Death wise, I’m a great fan of Chinese water torture, hanging and quartering, watermelon suffocation, being run over by a midget little person in a golf buggy and finally and most excitingly, death by overstrenuous sexual activity.

Is there anything that you’re dying to purchase? (asked by Chantelle)

It isn’t particularly exciting, but I’m actually looking around for a reasonably priced cork board. As we’re moving in about two weeks time, I’m going to finally have a bedroom in which I can actually stick things up on walls without worrying about what a landlord will say (we’d been renting the shop for the past fifteen or so years). My plan is to hang up a cork board, and cover it with photo mementoes, cards from clubs and places I’ve been to, little decorative things like that – basically to create a wall mural of things that mean a lot to me.

As such, I’m really specific about what I need – something measuring at least 150cm by 50cm, with a hard back (metal preferably, to match the door handle and window embellishings), which can be hung up on a wall. The only problem is, something as specific as this is fairly pricey (and I’m a cheapskate), so until I find something fairly large for under $20, this cork board decor plan is on hold. Needless to say, I’m trawling eBay!

How much do you love me and want to meet me? If you met Britney and could spend a week with her, what would you do and would you give her any advice? (asked by Tracey)

Well let’s put it this way: I’ve known you for the longest out of all my e-friends, and you’re still managing to not annoy me. I’ve yet to throw a hissy fit at you, and your mother loves me although she’s never met me. That’s a fairly good effort! (Plus, I’ll probably see you sometime this summer as I’ll be coming up to Sydney.)

As for Britney, I still have immense faith in her ability to bounce back and take control of her life. I personally think she has post-partum depression, and has had since Sean Preston (let alone Jayden James), so the first day I’m with her, I’d take her to a psychiatrist and get her some antidepressants. There’s obviously a chemical imbalance in her brain that needs to be corrected before I start with the “how to exude sexuality on stage” lessons. I’d also look into lingerie shopping – we’d pick up a couple of nice pairs of underwear that she can wear while she gets in and out of cars.

Do you own many pair of shoes? What are your favourites? Your favourite item? What is the object you can’tlive without/leave the house without? (asked by Constance)

Well I personally don’t think I own many pairs of shoes, though others with less frivolous tastes and inferior shopping habits might not agree. I own approximately twenty pairs of shoes – five pairs of boots, three pairs of sneakers, five pairs of black work shoes (flats, Mary Janes, etc.), as well as seven miscellaneous pairs of shoes (sandals, thongs, heels etc.). I’ve actually given away a lot of shoes this year after a bout of philanthropy, and am looking at whittling the pairs I own down further. My favourite pair of shoes though, would be my pink Ugg boots. They’re not fashionable, and I don’t wear them out of the house, but they keep my feet warm and toasty during winter when I’m huddled in front of my computer!

Favourite clothing item would be my red satin qipao which belonged to my grandmother. I don’t have much call to wear it here in Australia, but sometimes I put it on to wear around my bedroom, just because. Oh, and I don’t leave the house without a bra on! I’ve done it sans underwear, but considering my breasts, would never do it sans bra!

What are your superpower? If you have none (loser) which one would you wish you had? (asked by Nan)

Unfortunately, I am but a mere mortal – superpowers elude me for the time being, though I have signed up for a secret government experiment that will graft adamantium onto my bones, allow me to grow claws at will, and leave me with a freakishly fast healing ability. Oh wait. Did I just inadvertently reference the sexiness that is a hairy Hugh Jackman?

Where do you see yourself in 10 years time? (asked by Kimmie)

Where would the average thirty year old be? I’d like to think that at that age, I’ve:

But most importantly, I see myself as being happy – finally fully content in who I’ve been in the past, who I am now, and who I will be in the future. I’d be constantly intellectually stimulated in whatever endeavours I undertake, and would continue growing as a person. I’d be more emotionally developed and mature than I am now, and a lot more tolerant of people’s differences. I’d be happy and fulfilled in a flexible job where the duties change from day to day (I don’t think I could handle monotony). On a more superficial level, I’ll probably be settled in Melbourne (I love this city and country, I really do) in a small “green” house, after long stints working overseas.

What is your biggest regret in life? (asked by Zala)

I actually spent much of last night thinking about how to answer this question, and how I could possibly review my regrets and be able to pick the one that’s had the most impact on me. How can I rate the regret felt over the loss of a close friend against the regret felt for not having the courage to tell someone I was truly, madly, deeply in love with them? Or against the regret felt for never showing my grandmother how much I loved and respected her before she died?

I guess the best answer is that I regret the very fact that I have regrets. If I had lived my life (so far) the way I should have, I wouldn’t have them today.

If you could rule the world for a day, what would you do? (asked by Anastasia)

Depose all unworthy and egotistical presidents, prime ministers, governors and kings around the world, and replace them all with smart, well-educated, socially-and-environmentally-conscious strong-willed women. Who bets the world would be in a better state within two years of me doing this?

Yeah, I’m a tad elitist in that way.

What’s your favourite sex vice? (asked by Chris)

I honestly don’t think that anything related to sex can actually be considered a vice! To use the word ‘vice’ seems to suggest that it’s dirty, and morally incorrect – and I certainly don’t think that sex is immoral. As for sexual acts that are perhaps a bit off the beaten track, I wouldn’t say no to anything without trying it first…though I would draw the line at deliberate defecation on the other party/ies.

My favourite sex act that most people are queasy about is clearly anal sex, though I do enjoy a bit of roleplay with myself as the dominated rather than the dominator. There’s nothing quite like being caught by a police officer in an illegal activity, and then having to redeem yourself in the jail cell…

What is your favourite book & author? What do you think of web blogs with disgusting designs that make you strain your eyes to just read the text? How do you cope with stress? (asked by Chien Yee)

It isn’t fashionable, but my favourite book that I read and re-read constantly isn’t Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or even an Austen novel. Instead, it’s my complete collection of Grimm’s Fairy Tales that I love most. I read it at least once every two-three months, and I think it’s the sheer timelessness of the tales that appeals to the little girl in me – while there aren’t dwarfs, princesses, and ogres, the themes in it of truth, love, beauty, and honesty still resonate today.

I am…well, ambivalent about those types of sites. As far as I see it, they’re the ones who are losing my readership, I’m not the one losing them as reading material. And if it makes any sense – if they don’t have the sense to make their text easily readable and their layout aesthetically pleasing, then they probably don’t have the sense to make their entries entertaining or worth reading. From experience, they’re more along the lines of “OMG, so today, Tommy told Sarah that her butt was big, and lyk, Sarah wuz so sad, so I lyk, yelled @ Tommy”. Mmm…no thanks.

As for my ways of coping with stress, refer to my answer to Jennii’s question below.

Was there ever a time where you just wished something horrible on someone? Even someone close to you? (asked by Roxanne)

As much as I hate to admit this, I used to wish that I belonged to another family and that my parents weren’t really my parents. Unsurprisingly, these wishes often coincided when they made me do extra homework exercise books that weren’t recommended by the school, or something along those lines.

In retrospect they were obviously doing the right thing – would I have had the motivation or inclination to be an independent learner in high school years if they hadn’t forced this extra work on me when I was young? Probably not. At the time though, I simply saw them as being mean, nasty, dreadful people who couldn’t possibly be my parents because my real parents would let me watch the Simpsons rather than make me do homework. How wrong I was.

When did you lose your virginity? (With whom?) (asked by Jennii)

I was wondering if anyone was going to ask this! I was almost seventeen, and the year was 2003. He was a year above me at school and we were doing the exam together. Pre-exam, we’d snuck off from the study session to make out in a quiet part of the school. Post-exam we went to his place. I suppose it was this that triggered off my tendency nowadays to let off stress and steam by having sex.

We didn’t keep in touch after he graduated, though I kept in touch with his brother for a year or so before we lost touch. I suppose the amusing thing is, I was always on much friendlier terms with his brother – with the guy himself, we were more like flirt-buddies in class.

What is your biggest fear? (asked by Emily)

Well like I mentioned above, I have this (irrational?) fear of not being content in my future career. On a more basic, less futuristic note though, I have this fear of going through a whole day without saying one word to a friend or acquaintance – of having one of those days at university/work where I don’t bump into anyone I know. Those days make me feel sad because it feels as though I don’t know anyone, and that I’m truly alone in the world.

So I guess that’s a fear of loneliness?

You have one wish! What do you wish for? (asked by Peter)

I wish for harsher penalties for parole violators. And world peace.

No, honestly, I’d probably go for something along the lines of having the freedom to live as I want, wherever I want, whenever I want. To have personal freedom, unshackled by society and familial expectations I think. As always, I want what’s fairly unattainable, and what’s probably worst for me!

Would you do me? (asked by Jem)

Only if you whispered PHP code in my ear while we go for it!

Well, that’s it for this round of questions. Keep an eye out for the next round in a couple of months time.

19 Responses to “You Ask, I Answer”

  1. YES! ilu.

    Jem on September 13 2007 #

  2. You answered the questions really nicely. But I wasn’t asking such detailed measurements… More like the most common three. However, you decided to include all the juicy details then… nothing for me to complain about. :P

    Rilla on September 13 2007 #

  3. Your answers are priceless!! Awesome.

    Juice on September 13 2007 #

  4. I totally picked up on the Miss Congeniality reference :D

    Tracey on September 13 2007 #

  5. “I’d rather my vagina join with a eight incher, than my soul join with another.”

    I couldn’t agree more with you :P

    Fantastic answers. :)

    Kelly on September 13 2007 #

  6. OOOer, fantastic. I love deep questioning question periods. :P

    Aisling on September 13 2007 #

  7. “I wish for harsher penalties for parole violators. And world peace.”

    I so love you for dropping that quote in there. :P

    Amber on September 14 2007 #

  8. I must apolagise for using the word vice! I was writing an article about it in another window! I dont find anything bad about sex at all! Anyway, thanks for answering! :)

    Chris on September 14 2007 #

  9. Great answers! :D

    Belinda on September 14 2007 #

  10. Chicken breasts, tequila, arm-flap exercises, and push up bra. Got it :)

    Great post; your answers were very comprehensive.

    Kaylee on September 14 2007 #

  11. Awesome! I seriously ask everyone about the HP house thing. You and I are opposite/alikes… every test puts me in Ravenclaw too, but I’m WAY more Griffyndor than Slytherin. Underneath, I guess I’m the good girl and you’re… well, let me count the questions that had to do with sex, shall I?

    LOL Amanda you rock. Seriously.

    Meli on September 14 2007 #

  12. Want another reason to hate Mallory? She diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder and Sarai with Narcissistic Personality Disorder after reading through Internet Police (specifically the Rainbow Luck article). I find that pretty amazing given she had so little to go on.

    This is a great idea, I really enjoyed reading through your answers. Do you mind if I nab this (obviously you don’t because you linked those other people, but I thought I’d ask to make sure :P).

    Reply: Go ahead!

    Becky on September 14 2007 #

  13. Eight-incher … *eye twitches* Oh Lordy … you adventurous woman you.

    I think I’ve read a fictitious derivation of the Cixi story, titled “Empress Orchid” … by Anchee Min, if I’m not mistaken. Either way – agreed with you on that notion. *nod*

    Very insightful answers, Amanda. :)

    Reply: I’ve read that as well actually! I did the fiction after the non-fiction accounts though. :P

    Xuan on September 15 2007 #

  14. Thanks for answering that question. Are we allowed to ask you more questions..? lol

    Reply: Yeah, go ahead!

    Roxanne on September 15 2007 #

  15. being run over by a midget little person in a golf buggy

    Oh, Lord, what a fascinating mental image…

    Jordie on September 15 2007 #

  16. Just to clarify, my attitude hasn’t changed much at all, Amanda — And I still hate you, and all of your followers, as much as you dislike me and mine. ^_~

    Ahh, I’m feelin’ the eLove … I’m feelin’ it tonightttt bab-ay … Thanks for all the ~*~hItZ*~*~!

    Reply: I’m not quite sad enough to hate anyone online. :) I get frustrated, but you’re not worth as powerful an emotion as hate.

    Mallory Maloney on September 22 2007 #

  17. Would you rather get caught having sex by your mom/dad or get caught doing drugs ?Lol!

    btw nice bl0g

    finch on September 26 2007 #

  18. [...] seen a lot of “You Ask, I Answer”-esque entries lately (obviously triggered by Amanda’s post). I felt like jumping on the bandwagon and doing it, except I know that I’m naturally bad at [...]

    Dot-Cubed » I Ask, You Answer on September 26 2007 #

  19. what college do/did you attend?

    person on December 24 2007 #

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