Gender Equality At Home
May 25, 2007 | Filed under Family & Friends, Online, Politics
I wonder how far feminism and gender equality has really come.
No stirring, that isn’t a bullshit thought. I’m seriously wondering about it. On one hand, you get the sexual revolution which seems to result in men and women objectifying women (rather than just men…). On another, you get gradual improvements in the area of workplace equality, though there’s still a long way to go. But equality in the home? Where’s that?
Why are there so many more stay-at-home mums than there are stay-at-home dads? Why aren’t more females becoming the primary breadwinner? Why do females still look for sugar daddies, but males don’t look to become a toyboy? Why does it seem like society is still conforming to the expectations of past decades?
In my circle of acquaintances, I’ve only ever known one family to have turned the ‘social norm’ upside down. When I was in primary school, the parents of one of my friends were unique in that she was a high-flying executive at Price Waterhouse Coopers, and he was a stay-at-home dad with a mail-order baking business. Yes, a baking business. He was always experimenting with new cake and cookie recipes – half the reason why I spent so much time over at their house.
Nowadays working in a maternity wear store, I meet many women who are nothing but stay-at-home mums. I know this for a fact as I chat with them while they’re browsing, and they quite literally, do nothing but stay at home with no other small business ventures/interests on the side. Online, you have a proliferation of stay-at-home mummy blogs, but daddy blogs? Where are they?
I suppose you could argue that feminism gave women the choice to stay at home. However, if feminism had truly achieved equality in all workplaces with equal numbers of fe/males in authority positions in businesses (only 17% of the top jobs in the movie industry go to women), would women still be choosing to stay at home? Or would they choose to work, and their partners choose to be a stay-at-home dad?
Food for thought.
I’ve started to move the articles and stuff into the blog component. Stories and fanfiction are under “Fiction” as a category, articles and opinions have been sorted into their relevant categories (e.g. article about Blogging now under Blog/Opinion). The Interviews with site owners have been brought back and are a subcategory under “Blog/Online” – feel free to suggest a potential interviewee! Reviews will have their own section…sooner or later.
9 Responses to Gender Equality At Home
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I think though that there are a lot of families that have both parents work to support the family. That’s also one of the reasons why so many daycare centers are ‘full’ and children get ‘dumped’ (sometimes litteraly!) there.
I don’t think I could sit at home all day doing nothing, I need to have something to do.
However I think if both parties are feeling fine under the circumstances they’re in there’s nothing for us to worry about. They obviously like it that way.
We still have a long way to go when it comes to equal salary etc in high places within the working industry but Rome wasn’t build in a day. As long as there are still people standing up for equal rights in all fields…
Offtopic: I hate your add the numbers box why did you do that?
Reply: Spam filter. :S I’m not closing comments on some of my older posts (reviews, articles, etc.), so I need something to catch the spam.
Chans on May 25, 2007 #
Also, if you somewhat turn it around and look at divorced families with children you’ll find that women have a lot more rights than men have. There aren’t equal rights for fathers and mothers either and personally I think (in the best interest of the child) there should be equal rights and per definition shared custody of the children with good rules where fathers get to see their children more often than once every two weeks IF the mother feels like it…
As you can see there is a long way to go in both ways.
Chans on May 26, 2007 #
My mum has always been the breadwinner of my household.
As for what Chans said, there are practical reasons for why mothers usually get more time with the children… mainly based on the fact that most fathers are the breadwinners (of course, in the situations where that’s not the case, the ruling is usually reversed). I don’t think for the sake of equality, kids should have equal time with parents if one parent are at work for the majority of the day anyway and don’t have time to care and supervise for the child.
Belinda on May 26, 2007 #
It might be choice rather than necessity, or force.
Amber on May 26, 2007 #
I’m probably opening myself up to all sorts of hate from radical feminists here, but perhaps the reason why we still generally don’t stride too far away from our stereotypical duties is because that’s what we’re best at? Mothers are usually instinctively good at being mothers.. women can multi-task, generally handle decision making etc better so they taking to running a household well. Daddies are best at going out, being the man, bringing home the bacon.
That’s not to say that Daddies can’t do it child-rearing, or that Mummies are useless in the workplace, but surely the fact that we take to these roles so naturally means something?
Jem on May 26, 2007 #
My father is now retired. He used to work as a lumberjack, so he had a very low income and would never work for more than few months in a row. My mother was a teacher, so her income was bigger than his.
She is now a school principal, so she earns even more, and my father is retired, as I said. She still pays for more than he does, simply because she has more money. They are conservative on many aspects, but it has always been normal for them that my mother earned more. I believe my father is a little ashamed but it is not because he doesn’t want a woman to earn more money than his; it’s rather because he hates depending on someone else’s income (family pride).
I consider my mother an accomplished woman. She has had success with her family and her work.
That said, I have to agree with Jem a little. I believe women must have the right to choose to study, have a job, etc., but it is a natural thing that the woman has to take care of the baby. Breastfeeding, for example, is very beneficial for the baby, even more than feeding on a bottle. It wouldn’t be very practical to breastfeed at work…
Men are able to change diapers, and so on, but they can’t produce milk on their own.
I’m among those who believe that at least one parent should stay with the child until he or she reaches about two of age (or at the very least, one. It angers me to think of having your baby sent to the babysitter every day when he or she is only a few months old).
Julie on May 26, 2007 #
I agree with Jem. It’s in our nature to take on our respective roles. Of course, it can be reversed, but men have been wired to be more aggressive, women to be more nurturing.
Besides, just because women are stay at home wives doesn’t mean they’re not equal to their husbands. Running a house by yourself is not easy, especially with little kids making the messes. As my mom once told me, the man builds the foundation of a house, but the woman provides the lights. Although that would probably make more sense in Filipino. :P
Aravis on May 26, 2007 #
I do beleive I’ve heard that women’s brains function differently then mens… Look at the animal kingdom: males are independent and run around kliling things and spreading their genetics… females raise familes.
So I don’t think that it will ever change because its more or less just how we are. Yeah. That comment had a good idea with zero continuity or anything. Oh well.
marMARmar on May 26, 2007 #
I like this entry.
Number one — I could argue biology all day. I personally do not believe that females are inclined towards childrearing, nor are they naturally adept at it. If that were true, I must be a freak of nature — I possess no maternal urges whatsoever, and if you tried to argue that I’m tender and nurturing because I’m a woman, everyone who’s ever had the misfortune of knowing me would quickly shut you down.
In my mind, there is absolutely no reason why there can’t be more “stay-at-home-dads”. The argument that the woman “should” be the one to take care of the child is weak at best, not to mention highly insulting to fathers who happen to take parenthood seriously. Babies attach to the primary caretaker, whoever that may be. It won’t know any different if its father is the one to take care of it. As for breastfeeding, that’s a non-issue if there ever was one. Many women choose not to and that’s their business.
Plus, if I remember my Animal Planet correctly, it’s the lionesses who do the hunting; the lions protect the boundaries of the pride, that sort of thing. I recently read an article in New Scientist that said the same thing about women during hunter-gatherer days.
This is why I dislike using words like “roles”. It attempts to reinforce gender stereotypes and that does not sit well with me.
All things considered, I reckon it boils down to social conditioning. Even today, though people may be more open to the idea of a significant female presence in the workforce, the attitude is exactly the same: women have the babies and men wear the pants. While I hate to make an example of the other commenters, I do believe they prove my point. :\ (And then there was that media shitstorm about Leading Seaman Faye Turney… did you hear about that? I wanted to throttle someone after reading about it.)
It scares me, honestly. I really feel like we’re going backwards sometimes.
Jordie on June 4, 2007 #