April 14 2007: Slightly Sardonic
Filed under Life
There’s nothing like an irate and slightly sardonic tram driver to brighten up one’s foul mood (directed towards someone close with good reason).
As we’re leaving the terminus, I hear a shriek outside. A teenage girl is running up to the tram trying to get it to stop, after having spent the last ten minutes standing next to the stationary tram, gabbing outside with her friends. I sniggle. The tram driver yells out the window “You snooze, you lose!”.
We progress along the road. The driver turns on the loudspeaker. “Attention passengers. As Melbourne drivers have clearly been taking their moron pills this morning, there’s been a few accidents where a passenger has been knocked down by a car that hasn’t stopped for the tram. As you’re getting off, please keep an eye out for cars”. I sniggle a bit more - mainly because he’s right, and Melbourne drivers are moronic.
As I’m standing next to the doors waiting for my stop, the driver turns on the loudspeaker again. “Remember to look out for cars as you get off the tram, otherwise you could earn yourself a six week holiday in the Alfred Hotel (a.k.a Prince Alfred Hospital). Otherwise, if a holiday doesn’t suffice, I’m sure that the government will be willing to shell out for you to be carted away in a zip lock bag.”
He made my day. He really did. Then I came home, got a phone call, and got pissed off again. Hoo-fucking-rah.
10 Responses to “Slightly Sardonic”
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He sounds slightly crazy or not minding that he could lose his job! It’s nice to see someone so honest for once though. We don’t have trams round here - just dodgy bus drivers.
Amber on April 14 2007 #
Hmmmm. I can beat that - waiting for the metro to leave the station, we had conductors waiting to catch people who hadn’t bought a ticket. True to form, a whole gaggle of them came down the stairs, got on the train, then spotted the conductors and ran straight back out again and up the stairs. A few minutes later, they came down again (maybe they thought we’d have gone?) and ran away again. (Cue, metro personnel getting pissed).
Then - the icing on the cake - one lad from the same group then came back down AGAIN, at which point one of the conductors yelled at him and he ran off like his pants were on fire. Classic.
Mazzie on April 14 2007 #
Haha! I was laughing so hard when I read that :P
Malin on April 14 2007 #
Amber, are you kidding? That man deserves a payrise. :D
Jordie on April 14 2007 #
That made me laugh! :D Our bus driver’s a bit like that.
Jennifer on April 15 2007 #
Screw trams - they don’t go fast enough. Even my car goes faster than a tram. That’s why car drivers overtake dumb slow trams. All they do is block up traffic -__-^
Just make sure the tram driver is smart enough to put on blinkers or stick out the stop sign from the folding doors and I’ll manage to stop… hopefully in time XP
Mish on April 15 2007 #
I can see why he made your day! But,. seriously, wouldn’t you just love to be carried away in a ziplock bag?
Anastasia on April 15 2007 #
Why don’t we have tram drivers like that here? Or any trams for that matter. Hurrah for living in a nowheresville, I suppose :(
Kaisa on April 15 2007 #
LOL, that would make my day too. If anyone who worked in public services said anything like that here, they’d probably get fired. Although, most people here are boring and wouldn’t say that in the first place, heh :P
Matt on April 15 2007 #
He sounds like a real life Dr. Gregory House. :D
Laura on April 15 2007 #