April 11 2007: A Clubbing Bag
Filed under Fashion
There’s currently an auction on eBay titled “BNWT-GoRgEoUs ClubBing Bag/Purse with Bronze Studs”. Improper capitalisation aside, the whole concept of a “clubbing bag/purse” is preposterous. If one is going out with the express purpose of going clubbing, you’d imagine that dancing would make up a large proportion of the evening. Therein lies the dilemma.
When you’re dancing, you inevitably need both hands. One to hold a drink, the other to flail wildly along with eighties dance hits. Alternatively, one to hang onto the hottest guy in the joint, and another to rove his body. Ahem. Point is, you need two hands. So which is going to hold the bag?
A word from the wised up - when clubbing, take only a miniature money holder (a silver money clip is classy option), shoved into a) a jeans pocket, b) a stocking suspender, c) the top of your boots. Mobiles are…superfluous. If, others insist that you must take one just in case (generally parentals), it’s best to attach them to a funky lanyard of the glow-in-the-dark variety, then hang it around your neck, between your boobs.
Other handbag basics? Makeup? Pah! In the dim lighting, no one’s going to notice your lip gloss has worn off, or that your mascara is streaking. Tissues? Pah! Just go to the ladies room (or the gents, cause they don’t tend to use up their toilet paper allotment). Keys? Pah! Hide them in your yard somewhere, so you can still get back in the house, without having to carry them around.
Take it from someone who’s tried and tested the above methods!
10 Responses to “A Clubbing Bag”
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I lol’d.
Jordie on April 11 2007 #
If only I had you to tell me these things several years back. I had to test all of the above methods myself too. I’m glad you’re educating the youngsters though. ;)
Susie on April 11 2007 #
Those are some good tips! :D Unfortunately I’m a bag lady, and can’t go anywhere without a purse. Even if I go clubbing, I have the weirdest things with me (Last Saturday morning, after a night of going out, I went through my bag, I realized that I had carried a French dictionary and hand lotion with me. A French dictionary?! I really need to change my bad habits!)
Anna-Erica on April 11 2007 #
I couldn’t go clubbing without:
a) a phone (my parents would die and have heart palpitations, and I don’t want to give them an early death).
b) make-up. Sweat does terrible things to make-up, especially if you’re dancing.
c) if I was late in, there’s no way my parents would be able to hear/wake-up, so I would be left outside. My father is extremely security concious too.
:P
Amber on April 11 2007 #
I haven’t even gone clubbing. There are no clubs in the sticks! I don’t even like dancing, I am a party pooper.
Tracey on April 11 2007 #
The one time I went clubbing it was with my old roommate. Let’s just say she took me to a club where I was… left out per se. I was like, “omg, they are dealing crack over there in that corner.” I just sat at the bar and chillaxed. It was a good choice.
Kimmie on April 11 2007 #
Obviously the bag is not for going out to clubs. It’s for clubbing people over the head - preferably creepy guys, I suppose. :P
Josh on April 12 2007 #
lol! I went to a dance once and brought a bag…had to hide in behind a curtain or something because I realized it was impossible to dance with a bag.
marilyn on April 12 2007 #
Is it strange that by clubbing, I thought you were referring to clubbing someone, rather than going to clubs? I couldn’t understand why someone would need a purse or a bag to go around hitting someone, either. Then you mentioned dancing. :D
Kycoo on April 12 2007 #
I’m a bag lady, and back during my clubbing days, I’d:
-leave my bag in a friend’s car and just bring money, or
-leave my bag with a male friend who doesn’t dance and is just there to drink and check out girls, or
-tuck my bag into my armpit; I can hold my drink and dance, although a bit uncomfortably.
helga on April 13 2007 #