March 14 2007: A Change of Scenery
Filed under Asian-ness & Family & Uni/Work
After sixteen years of running the same take-away shop, my mum has finally tired of it. She wants to convince my father to quit once our lease is up in August, and open a cleaning business instead. (How Asian!) We’d have to move into a suburb further out from the city (what I would call the sticks) where we own another investment property.
My father is reluctant, if only because he doesn’t like change.
My brother isn’t happy about the situation, because it’ll mean that he’ll have to go to a different school in another area without his friends.
As for myself? If it wasn’t for the fact that:
- I’d have to quit my job because it’s too far to commute
- I’d have to buy a car to get from place to place
- It means a significant drop in my extracurricular activities
- There’s no decent shopping around that area
I’d fully support my mother’s decision. She hasn’t been happy in the job for a long time now, and I personally believe my father’s ruining his health by slaving over a hot stove for x amount of years.
Perhaps now is the time for me to learn to be gracious, to give up my own comforts for the benefit of others?
16 Responses to “A Change of Scenery”
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Perhaps…you can move out? I don’t know if that’s an option (lolz azn). But you do have your own job..and everything.
My family moved into a smaller home a few years ago (currently still living in), so that we can get extra cash. Rather than working every month, just to see everything goes toward mortgage, bills and groceries. Which meant no money for family activities (shopping, ahem, and vacation).
At first, it was tough for me..to go from a big house to smaller one… So, I hope your dad will be able to get used to future changes :)
Jennii on March 14 2007 #
I agree with Jennii’s points… I guess I can only semi-relate as we’ve moved from a huge house into a tiny house (still living in it), but for different reasons. I admire how you note the problems that moving would entail and yet you’re being rather positive and gracious about it all. Good luck with whatever the outcome is, i guess. :)
Amanda on March 14 2007 #
If it makes your mother happy, go for it (especially as I personally think what you listed wasn’t really of long-term importance - you can always find a new job, etc - yet parental happiness is quite important for the long run). There’s the whole “You’re young and have your whole life ahead of you” bit while your mother wants a change, and to me it sounds like she’s earned it. :)
Manda on March 14 2007 #
Well, I doubt you’ll be living with you parents for too much longer anyway (?) and as you seem to think that it would benefit them both greatly if they sold and moved… Then I would say it would probably be best to support them with their decision.
Amber on March 14 2007 #
Have you considered moving out?? If they’re not happy (or healthy) because of it; it sounds like its for the best. I hope the situation works for all of you!
Paddy on March 14 2007 #
I’m not one for change either, but in the end it always seems to work out for the best. If you aren’t going to be living with your parents much longer, then I think things will go just fine. :)
Kori on March 14 2007 #
I don’t know whether my mother’s sick of the restaurant or not, but god knows she’ll keep doing it until Michael and I are through university, so will my father because honestly, I don’t think they know how to do anything else.
Change is something I try to embrace. I know you will do so and a way of adapting, whatever happens
Tracey on March 14 2007 #
and find a way** Eeek!
Tracey on March 14 2007 #
Neither way seems good, I don’t think you’d be really happy if you have to give up so many things that mean so much to you, and from reading your blog, I know you’re quite satisfied and like your job much, no? Maybe you could try staying alone or something? Time for independence :D
Melle on March 14 2007 #
I actually think it’s very sweet of you to also think about your mothers life. Why watch her waste her time away each day on something that doesn’t make her happy. After all your father will eventually get used to it and your brother will make new friends - and no one said he couldn’t still see the old ones from time to time. As for you - you’ll manage - I am sure of it.
Nan on March 14 2007 #
I know where you’re coming from. When my parents moved from Canada, I hated it. I still haven’t adjusted to it completely. But I had no choice, since I was 11 then. I don’t know if you have many options, since you are Asian and I know what it’s like. But maybe it’s worth moving? If your mother is really miserable, maybe you should.
On a sidenote: I’m so happy my parents don’t have the “Oh, let’s open a business” in them. I am so grateful for that!
Rafia on March 15 2007 #
It looks like the best thing to do would be for you lot to discuss it. Just try to make a compromise that suits, more or less, all of you.
Anastasia on March 15 2007 #
That’s not so bad. I had to move 3 continents away when things weren’t going so well with my family. LOL! Maybe now’s the time you can gain more independence and find your own place. Maybe even live with P…? ;-)
Kat on March 15 2007 #
My first that was; you’re old enough to live on your own so you can keep all those things you mentioned AND get a car to visit your parents.
I hope that whatever they decide to do though (and you with that) is in their best interest, not just for your mom but for the both of them.
Chans on March 15 2007 #
It’s hard making decisions that will drastically affect every member of the family. If I’d enough money, I would just try to live alone. But I digress. Your family should talk about this as a family (uhm, yeah, redundant) and weigh the pros and cons of moving. I hope that whatever the decision is, it’s gonna be for everyone’s benefit.
Shari on March 15 2007 #
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